(o) (o)

Just Peeking.

The Price of a Mystic

***He looked in her eyes. He knew that doing so would cause her temperament to flair. Nonetheless, there was no other choice. It wouldn't be the first time that he did, but it felt like it could be the last. He noticed that her visits were much shorter than when they were younger. She rarely ever sat down to reminisce or make a new impression. These days, she seemed more annoyed to be in his presence. He yearned to turn it around, but life had him going in a different direction. He shook the thought of losing her, as he had her right at this moment. He could taste her on his tongue. He had to savor every second of it, as she would be gone soon. The sour taste of metal, slowly causing adrenalin to move. How could he hold her? Convince her to stay? He couldn't. She wouldn't listen. The mere contemplation of how, made her dissolve. He was adapting.***


The beast burps and spits. It screams when I push on it from inside. People fear its call, as it can split an eardrum. It fights with me. I urge it to continue, even in its pain. It limps along, begging for mercy. Finally, even i can no longer take the shrill. I take it to a shaman who knows this beast. He exercises its demons, and the diagnosis is not good. The shaman tells me that the best needs $2500 in magic. I tell him the beast isn't worth it. I agree to $1092.58 in magic. The beast lives another day to soar among the other beasts. The shaman urges me that all future magic will be free, should the beasts new parts fail. I walk away skeptical and call to my beast. We RIDE.

Inmate 1 Alcatraz 0

***Its quiet. Catching my breath. Watching the steam pass my lips as it freezes and grips on to my beard. I can taste and smell the stale cold. I can hear my heart beating in my chest. I try to take a deep breath, but the thinness of the air pushes back, and instead of relief I feel pain. My eyes start to water. Time and body temperature is slipping. My brain scrambles to measure how close death is. Its not favorable.***



Sunday morning brought a new chapter to the household.

Logan woke in his crib at 7 am. He started to call out for Mommmmy and then Daaaaaadddy. We thought if we waited he might go to sleep, and after about 15 minutes, it seemed like we might catch a few more winks. I laid there trying to fall back to sleep. After about thirty minutes, i was about to doze off when it happened. A door handle started to rattle. My heart jumped, especially since i saw no one out in the hallway. Instead what i saw was my 2 year old's door start to open ever so slightly. He did it. He finally reached a point where the sturdy wood bars would no longer hold him. Aside from that, he clearly has the skills of a baby ninja, as not a sound was made during his escape.

The greater question is how did he do it? Did he finally discover his mutant power to move through solid objects? Did he have some amazing gymnastic feat? Did he dismantle part of the frame? Whatever his secret, he is not telling.

With that, we will probably have to start shopping a bed. I can only imagine all the new things that will come with this. What i am trying to say is that its not going to be easy raising a mutant. But we will love him none the less.

Mentally AWOL

Its late. Im tired. Tired. That word makes me feel angry and disappointed. Everyone knows it, everyone feels it at some point. It comes on when you least need it to be there, but that is its wiley ways. I am trying to hook into my brain that gives into this "tired" and turn it off, but i have not had any luck. If you have a secret for it, please share.

There is sickness in the house. Hopefully that is going to turn soon. Sick. Another word that makes me feel angry and a dash of exhausted. Feels like i am constantly watching the horizon for the next infestation. Whether it be from the daycare of death or the fish bowl job. Ugh.

Vacation. I like that word, and yet it always seems to not enter my vocabulary. Even Mini-vacation. I could use that word too, but there has not been that oppurtunity. That word makes me feel giddy and like a failure. Maybe a failure because it has been four years since i have had anything that would be considered a real vacation, and that was only for three days.

I think i am reaching a superior festering of the mental and physical. Its to the point where the body is rejecting me. My body doesnt want to hang out with me anymore.
















On a side note, Chris Cornell put a new album out- Scream - Lets just say...unfortunate.

Quality or Lack of Quantity

There are times when work is overwhelming, and then there are times when work is consuming.

These past couple weeks have been a blur for me. It feels like my focus has been on other peoples lives and not on mine or my family. Granted, having the power over a persons biggest purchase in life does have some importance, but when you are sitting at a desk approaching your 10th hour of work, you cant help but think how you are cheating your children of their memories, and vice-versa. Plugging away at the revolving door called job is a constant mental battle. You know you are there so that you can provide the necessities of life to you and your family, but you cant help but think in some ways it is so counter productive. Its not a new story. Its the same story. Every one lives through it.
You wake up the kids so that you can spend about 45 minutes with them before they have to be at daycare. You work diligently with overtime so that you can afford the things everyone needs. This in turn means you only have enough time to pick the kids up, race home, make dinner, eat, bathe the kids (on a slower night) and then off to bed. Roughly about 2 hours with the kids. This cycle continues. I cant help but think of all the things i am missing during the day while they are at their best. I get them in their tired hours. Sure, we are happy to see each other, but there is just a little steam left before the crankiness kicks in. Its too bad the kids have to see me that way.
Then there is my wonderful wife. I can only imagine how much we are missing out with each other. Between both of us having second jobs, there isn't much face time. A lot of the time its tag team parenting. I miss her. I miss the quality time. I miss the alone time. Again, you can only hope there will be a greater reward later, but with the economy on its way down, a long way down, three jobs might be in order. As if relationships don't have enough challenges.

Tonight, i let the kids play a little longer. I got to be the giant stalking the princess and prince. Giggles were aplenty. I did my best to burn the images and sounds on my brain, but after a long day, i don't have high hopes for retention. Thank god for the phone video camera.

Maybe Mommy and Daddy will see if we can squeeze in a late night movie for a little bonding.






I cant see this pattern being fruitful.

Thanksvalentineing Day

What a very full week of crazy, and i meant to blog about it, but the date with my wife last night made up for all of it, so it deserves the moment

It isn't as easy to get an outing with two small children and a teen, but last night was a date made early, and i was looking forward to it.

Getting connected has been a bit of a challenge over the past year and a half due to so many different reasons (past blogs), but lately we seem to be getting our bearings about things, which has helped us tremendously in coming together. I feel like we have grown stronger with each passing day and it feels nice to be able to really talk to each other again.

Last night was just a casual dinner with talking and having fun. There was a good prime rib, wine, and seared mushrooms. Not to mention a beautiful woman sitting across from me. An evening to remind me why i love this woman so much. Here's to you Karen. I love you.
















PS- We'd make it, they wouldn't

Hairy Sucker

Sometimes you feel like it is all going better than it should, and that something is around the corner that is going to bring it to a break your nose halt.

And so it does.

Things have been starting to look up around the old home front lately. Financially, i believe we are starting to hold a little ground. Not that we are gaining any, just holding, which is better then falling deeper then we already are. I feel i have taken a more concentrated effort to watching every dollar (with more room for improvement).

The kids are doing great. All of them. The little ones delight me on a regular basis with their new found words and facial expressions. Logan received his first haircut as a human being, and was a champ. Not to mention amazingly adorable. I believe i rounded the photos off at 128.












The teen seems to be getting somewhat serious about the downward spiral he was in. I have great hope that he can find it in himself to make better choices. Hard to watch someone with so much intelligence become furniture. Maybe that is all apart of being "Scene"

Karen and I have had a pretty great couple of weeks. She celebrated a birthday, and we really got to spend some real one on one time this weekend, and it was well overdue. Was great to be able to do things for her. I love when she smiles more. Not to mention we got to see 3 movies. One good, one renter, and one that should be avoided at all costs (Hes Just Not That Into You)

But then there is that bleeding nose halt.

A friend of ours lost her battle with cancer this week. She is my sister-in-laws best friend, and even though i had only hung out with her a handful of times, i know she will be greatly missed by all. She always had a smile for everyone, and I'm not just writing a cliche phrase. She was always cheerful in my perspective and a delight to be around. Where most people would have to work hard at caring and doing for others, she did with ease and grace. A particular memory i will always have of her is that she could bake wonderful mini cupcakes. She had a great talent in the baked goods area. There aren't enough people in this world like her, and so it is with great sadness that she is no longer here with us. My heart goes out to Monica's husband and two kids as well as all her family. Unfortunately i am unable to attend the Memorial service with my wife, but thoughts will truly be with her.