Stage Fright

The space has been converted. All teams for Stevie Rays have christened it with their own brand of humor.

The space feels like it has been converted to a rec room basement for the visually impaired. The carpet could swallow you with its Corinthian swirls serpentine through blood red, and the faux candle chandeliers really bring a mid evil touch. The walls are a beautiful... beige. The stage has about two more feet of space. Overall, it is awesome. It is great to have something new, even if it looks like it was designed by a three year old.

So if you haven't been out to Stevie Ray's for a while, now is the time. The new room will hypnotize you, and the performances will mesmerize you.

See you there.

Bounded Heart

There are a hundred different types of fireworks going off. Each one of them can be felt through every fiber. Every cell through the membrane is reawakening. My lungs expand. They promise life again as they question my motive. My reason. My need to test their capacity. They don't realize it wasn't my choice. They continue to do what they do without question. The rest of my body sends gratitude by truly experiencing all my senses. The suns warmth on my head. The bitter and salty taste of blood and ocean. The smell of the crosswinds from the pacific. There is no greater moment. When you push on death, life pushes back harder.

There are moments when you look at your children and you get a chance to look into the future. It is a future without you. It is beyond you. You look at them and you see possibilities beyond your grave. You get to measure your past, present, and future in the eyes of these beautiful creatures. You wish that you could move them past the experience of pain that life will inevitably play upon them and guide them into all the joys it holds behind the corners.

When I leave home in the morning, my thoughts are no longer about my own adventures, but the small discoveries that they will encounter throughout the day. How will they experience the words and guidance of a daycare teacher. How will they absorb the actions of their miniature peers. They devour everything put in front of them, and piece by piece it adds to their being.

I will return home, hoping that they have not forgotten me. I hope that they have not found something in their day that makes them forget their smiles when they see me. Will they have learned something that fills their tiny heads with joy, in turn taking one more step away from me? It is inevitable. They hold tight at first and then slowly learn to let go. With that, I will long for the first day I left them alone. That day my heart was broken to leave them behind in the unknown. As I walked out of the care facility, I hope and prayed that they would forgive me.



I tread water. Revel in the moment. Take still pictures in my mind. Never forget this moment... life embraced me once more. Time to swim for shore.