Assurances? Oui.

Once again, the medical industry has gone above and beyond to not impress me.

On Monday evening, i was playing a game of softball with The Skirt Turtles. I was playing center field when a ball was hit to me. I went to throw the ball in, when a loud crack came from my shoulder, causing a lot of uncomfortable pain and the inability to lift my arm up. (you will be happy to know that the runner made it home safely, which is not a good thing. ) I did end up finishing the game, but I did not assist my team to a victory, as we lost.

The next day my wife made me an appointment to see a Dr. on Thursday at 3:30. I got a voice mail yesterday morning, day of the appt., that the Dr would have to cancel my appt., and that i could call in to reschedule. Annoyed, i called them back right away and explained that i had already scheduled time off work to come in. I believe the nurse, who seemed to hate her job, sensed my annoyance with this fact and explained to me that "Dr. John* was sick and couldn't come in today, Dr.s get sick too ya know, and there isn't much you can do about that, so oh well." Really... Okay, whatever. Trying to stay pleasant about the situation i asked if i could please see another Dr. at that time. She said that no one was available, and that she would transfer me to the advisement line to see what they could offer. The woman who answered this line (after 12 min of hold music) was very pleasant. I couldn't believe it, i thought i had fallen in to some parallel universe. This woman was very attentive to my needs and understanding. I couldn't believe that she allowed us to hold a status that was equal, and held a conversation that two adults would have over the phone. Could this change my opinion of the medical profession... no. Why? Because she told me this... " Lets see, you were suppose to see Dr. John*... lets see why they cancelled that... oh yes.. Dr. John will be on vacation for a month starting tomorrow, and i guess he wanted to get a jump on that. " Are you F#*!ing serious???? I just got lied to AND made to feel guilty because "Dr.s get sick too", and the truth is this guy couldn't see me because he wanted to double check that he packed his water wings and SPF 40 for the MONTH vacation he is about to take. SERIOUSLY!?!?! Health care professionals SUCK ASS! What ever happened to the patient??? This made my day unpleasant. Not only that, but they couldn't get me into an appt, so i had to go to urgent care. I wont even go in to detail there about how the receptionist was an elitist bitch, and the Dr. was Bambi on steroids and dumb juice.

Lets just say that it turned out that I do NOT have a torn rotator cuff as i thought i might, so the Dr. "guesses". He believes it is a severe strain which in his words "mine as well be a torn rotator cuff, because it has the same symptoms and outcome". So, i was referred to an orthopedic Dr. (sarcastic YAY!), if i think i want to consider surgery, as "my arm wont be the same the rest of my life, and that i will have to live with the pain"... and inability to have the powerful throwing arm i once had. Ugh

That is that. I am pretty sure I will be moving to France in the older years, as health care is free and the quality of care is top rated.






* Not real Dr.'s name. I don't know why, but i feel like i should protect this ignorant man's identity, even if he is sitting in the Caribbean sipping on a Corona rolling in my insurance money laughing as it sticks to his body covered in SPF 40 .