Cheers to the Teen

Teenagers. They have their unique way about them.

In the scheme of things, I have to say that i have a pretty good teenager on my hands. He doesn't do illegal activities (that i know of), illegal drugs (that i know of), or everything that is asked of him (that... i know). Therefore, this makes him a good teenager in two ways. By either just being good in my perspective, or being good in that he is so extremely clever, that he can hide the bad from me. I don't think that's the case, but i am willing to realize that for every new generation, they find a new way.

My major frustration with my teenager is one that haunts many parents. That is self responsibility. I know that teens have a lot on their mind. Video games, eating, sleep, cell phones, hair in new places, the possibility of sex. I am sure all of this and more keeps them bogged down. So bogged down, that the tasks asked of them seem to be annoying and burdensome. Some examples... clean room, good grades, general upkeep and hygiene. I know, its a huge list that is daunting. Don't get me wrong, i am sure that i had issues with these things when i was a teen... wait, no, no i didn't. But then i probably wasn't a normal teen. Having grown up in the military, i believe clean room, good grades and hygiene were always a main goal and expectation... at the age of 6.

My teen enjoys circles. Its nothing he has ever declared, but i am sure that it must be something he takes great pride in, because we find ourselves going in them on a regular basis. "____ your _____ please" is a common phrase in the house. Example- clean your room please...work on your homework please... pick up your clothes please... put away your dishes please... pick up your dog poop please... and so on. I hear these phrases so much that i feel like i am using a mental Spirograph. At times i think that this is just the normality of raising a teenager, but at other times, I think something is seriously wrong with him. The reason i think this is because he has been given an easy formula. Do these minimal things without being asked and you will get what you want. How hard can that be? How hard can it be to make this important to your existence if it makes things good? Apparently very hard.

I don't like the idea that he gets grounded or loses his phone privileges, because it usually makes it more difficult for us, the parents. Problem is, these things get his attention and that is always a challenge when it comes to teens. Holding their attention. I feel like i give him a lot of room and fairness when it comes to these expectations, but as my father use to say "give him an inch, and he takes a foot". I think there is something to that. I believe that it is the job of a teen to push their boundaries, be angry at the obvious, and feel their parents are uncool( no matter how cool they really are. I blog for crying out loud, that's cool). I just hope that with the big 16 coming up, that something in the aging process helps even him out. I know this can not be some kind of genetic laziness, that there has to be something in there that wants to feel a high level of self worth.

Summer is around the corner, and i would much rather have him enjoying it then having to spend the majority of it at home. Lets hope he can pull it together and meet the expectations put upon him. I don't know if he realizes how much we love him and appreciate him, but then most teens don't. In his eyes, were the bad guys, not loving parents trying to guide him into a great man. So lets raise our glasses and put a toast to a unique teen who is pretty good, with some focus problems, so that he may have a great summer... and in turn, so will I.