AND ROLL OUT OF MY SKIN

It's A Boy

2010-01-09T08:29:00.006-06:00

I had a dream last night that my kids grew to adults in less than a few weeks. I am fairly certain that this has something to do with the fact that i spend way to many hours at the day job. It would seem i give about 9 hours a day to the day job, and only about 3 and a half hours to my kids. Maybe I should start keeping a scrapbook of my day job. It will be called, How I Raised My Child Wells Fargo Home Mortgage. I can start treating it like the kid it is. Make sure it doesn't do bad things like take drugs, wreck the car, or hang out with bad influences, like Bank of America. That Bank of America, they are a shitty bunch. Last thing I want is my kid hanging out with them. Yep, that's my boy, he plans on taking over the world some day. Hes gonna do it to, just needs to make sure he doesn't take anymore government loans. Those are a bitch to pay back, but everyone needs a student loan every now and then. Maybe he will grow up to be a doctor or something. Who knows. He has a flare for finances. Maybe he'll be an accountant.

Yep, yep, yep... this makes sense. Yep.

Gonna have to take a harder look at things. Get some organization in place this year to get to my family more. Need a machine that tells me how to make every moment of my days more productive.

So heres a pic of me and the kid...

Actually, here is the real pic of the fam...

PS- This photo was taken by Nisa Fiin at Shootings Stars Portraits. She rocks with the camera, so check her out.
PSS-Thanks to Mama's Alright for blogging about Shooting Stars Portraits.

(o) (o)

2009-08-23T22:53:00.001-05:00

Just Peeking.

The Price of a Mystic

2009-05-30T14:39:00.004-05:00

***He looked in her eyes. He knew that doing so would cause her temperament to flair. Nonetheless, there was no other choice. It wouldn't be the first time that he did, but it felt like it could be the last. He noticed that her visits were much shorter than when they were younger. She rarely ever sat down to reminisce or make a new impression. These days, she seemed more annoyed to be in his presence. He yearned to turn it around, but life had him going in a different direction. He shook the thought of losing her, as he had her right at this moment. He could taste her on his tongue. He had to savor every second of it, as she would be gone soon. The sour taste of metal, slowly causing adrenalin to move. How could he hold her? Convince her to stay? He couldn't. She wouldn't listen. The mere contemplation of how, made her dissolve. He was adapting.***

The beast burps and spits. It screams when I push on it from inside. People fear its call, as it can split an eardrum. It fights with me. I urge it to continue, even in its pain. It limps along, begging for mercy. Finally, even i can no longer take the shrill. I take it to a shaman who knows this beast. He exercises its demons, and the diagnosis is not good. The shaman tells me that the best needs $2500 in magic. I tell him the beast isn't worth it. I agree to $1092.58 in magic. The beast lives another day to soar among the other beasts. The shaman urges me that all future magic will be free, should the beasts new parts fail. I walk away skeptical and call to my beast. We RIDE.

Inmate 1 Alcatraz 0

2009-04-02T22:12:00.002-05:00

***Its quiet. Catching my breath. Watching the steam pass my lips as it freezes and grips on to my beard. I can taste and smell the stale cold. I can hear my heart beating in my chest. I try to take a deep breath, but the thinness of the air pushes back, and instead of relief I feel pain. My eyes start to water. Time and body temperature is slipping. My brain scrambles to measure how close death is. Its not favorable.***

Sunday morning brought a new chapter to the household.

Logan woke in his crib at 7 am. He started to call out for Mommmmy and then Daaaaaadddy. We thought if we waited he might go to sleep, and after about 15 minutes, it seemed like we might catch a few more winks. I laid there trying to fall back to sleep. After about thirty minutes, i was about to doze off when it happened. A door handle started to rattle. My heart jumped, especially since i saw no one out in the hallway. Instead what i saw was my 2 year old's door start to open ever so slightly. He did it. He finally reached a point where the sturdy wood bars would no longer hold him. Aside from that, he clearly has the skills of a baby ninja, as not a sound was made during his escape.

The greater question is how did he do it? Did he finally discover his mutant power to move through solid objects? Did he have some amazing gymnastic feat? Did he dismantle part of the frame? Whatever his secret, he is not telling.

With that, we will probably have to start shopping a bed. I can only imagine all the new things that will come with this. What i am trying to say is that its not going to be easy raising a mutant. But we will love him none the less.

Mentally AWOL

2009-03-10T23:50:00.004-05:00

Its late. Im tired. Tired. That word makes me feel angry and disappointed. Everyone knows it, everyone feels it at some point. It comes on when you least need it to be there, but that is its wiley ways. I am trying to hook into my brain that gives into this "tired" and turn it off, but i have not had any luck. If you have a secret for it, please share.

There is sickness in the house. Hopefully that is going to turn soon. Sick. Another word that makes me feel angry and a dash of exhausted. Feels like i am constantly watching the horizon for the next infestation. Whether it be from the daycare of death or the fish bowl job. Ugh.

Vacation. I like that word, and yet it always seems to not enter my vocabulary. Even Mini-vacation. I could use that word too, but there has not been that oppurtunity. That word makes me feel giddy and like a failure. Maybe a failure because it has been four years since i have had anything that would be considered a real vacation, and that was only for three days.

I think i am reaching a superior festering of the mental and physical. Its to the point where the body is rejecting me. My body doesnt want to hang out with me anymore.

On a side note, Chris Cornell put a new album out- Scream - Lets just say...unfortunate.

Quality or Lack of Quantity

2009-03-06T20:50:00.002-06:00

There are times when work is overwhelming, and then there are times when work is consuming.

These past couple weeks have been a blur for me. It feels like my focus has been on other peoples lives and not on mine or my family. Granted, having the power over a persons biggest purchase in life does have some importance, but when you are sitting at a desk approaching your 10th hour of work, you cant help but think how you are cheating your children of their memories, and vice-versa. Plugging away at the revolving door called job is a constant mental battle. You know you are there so that you can provide the necessities of life to you and your family, but you cant help but think in some ways it is so counter productive. Its not a new story. Its the same story. Every one lives through it.
You wake up the kids so that you can spend about 45 minutes with them before they have to be at daycare. You work diligently with overtime so that you can afford the things everyone needs. This in turn means you only have enough time to pick the kids up, race home, make dinner, eat, bathe the kids (on a slower night) and then off to bed. Roughly about 2 hours with the kids. This cycle continues. I cant help but think of all the things i am missing during the day while they are at their best. I get them in their tired hours. Sure, we are happy to see each other, but there is just a little steam left before the crankiness kicks in. Its too bad the kids have to see me that way.
Then there is my wonderful wife. I can only imagine how much we are missing out with each other. Between both of us having second jobs, there isn't much face time. A lot of the time its tag team parenting. I miss her. I miss the quality time. I miss the alone time. Again, you can only hope there will be a greater reward later, but with the economy on its way down, a long way down, three jobs might be in order. As if relationships don't have enough challenges.

Tonight, i let the kids play a little longer. I got to be the giant stalking the princess and prince. Giggles were aplenty. I did my best to burn the images and sounds on my brain, but after a long day, i don't have high hopes for retention. Thank god for the phone video camera.

Maybe Mommy and Daddy will see if we can squeeze in a late night movie for a little bonding.

I cant see this pattern being fruitful.

Thanksvalentineing Day

2009-02-15T12:47:00.002-06:00

What a very full week of crazy, and i meant to blog about it, but the date with my wife last night made up for all of it, so it deserves the moment

It isn't as easy to get an outing with two small children and a teen, but last night was a date made early, and i was looking forward to it.

Getting connected has been a bit of a challenge over the past year and a half due to so many different reasons (past blogs), but lately we seem to be getting our bearings about things, which has helped us tremendously in coming together. I feel like we have grown stronger with each passing day and it feels nice to be able to really talk to each other again.

Last night was just a casual dinner with talking and having fun. There was a good prime rib, wine, and seared mushrooms. Not to mention a beautiful woman sitting across from me. An evening to remind me why i love this woman so much. Here's to you Karen. I love you.

PS- We'd make it, they wouldn't

Hairy Sucker

2009-02-10T21:27:00.006-06:00

Sometimes you feel like it is all going better than it should, and that something is around the corner that is going to bring it to a break your nose halt.

And so it does.

Things have been starting to look up around the old home front lately. Financially, i believe we are starting to hold a little ground. Not that we are gaining any, just holding, which is better then falling deeper then we already are. I feel i have taken a more concentrated effort to watching every dollar (with more room for improvement).

The kids are doing great. All of them. The little ones delight me on a regular basis with their new found words and facial expressions. Logan received his first haircut as a human being, and was a champ. Not to mention amazingly adorable. I believe i rounded the photos off at 128.

The teen seems to be getting somewhat serious about the downward spiral he was in. I have great hope that he can find it in himself to make better choices. Hard to watch someone with so much intelligence become furniture. Maybe that is all apart of being "Scene"

Karen and I have had a pretty great couple of weeks. She celebrated a birthday, and we really got to spend some real one on one time this weekend, and it was well overdue. Was great to be able to do things for her. I love when she smiles more. Not to mention we got to see 3 movies. One good, one renter, and one that should be avoided at all costs (Hes Just Not That Into You)

But then there is that bleeding nose halt.

A friend of ours lost her battle with cancer this week. She is my sister-in-laws best friend, and even though i had only hung out with her a handful of times, i know she will be greatly missed by all. She always had a smile for everyone, and I'm not just writing a cliche phrase. She was always cheerful in my perspective and a delight to be around. Where most people would have to work hard at caring and doing for others, she did with ease and grace. A particular memory i will always have of her is that she could bake wonderful mini cupcakes. She had a great talent in the baked goods area. There aren't enough people in this world like her, and so it is with great sadness that she is no longer here with us. My heart goes out to Monica's husband and two kids as well as all her family. Unfortunately i am unable to attend the Memorial service with my wife, but thoughts will truly be with her.

Stage Fright

2009-01-24T20:26:00.003-06:00

The space has been converted. All teams for Stevie Rays have christened it with their own brand of humor.

The space feels like it has been converted to a rec room basement for the visually impaired. The carpet could swallow you with its Corinthian swirls serpentine through blood red, and the faux candle chandeliers really bring a mid evil touch. The walls are a beautiful... beige. The stage has about two more feet of space. Overall, it is awesome. It is great to have something new, even if it looks like it was designed by a three year old.

So if you haven't been out to Stevie Ray's for a while, now is the time. The new room will hypnotize you, and the performances will mesmerize you.

See you there.

Bounded Heart

2009-01-09T22:44:00.005-06:00

There are a hundred different types of fireworks going off. Each one of them can be felt through every fiber. Every cell through the membrane is reawakening. My lungs expand. They promise life again as they question my motive. My reason. My need to test their capacity. They don't realize it wasn't my choice. They continue to do what they do without question. The rest of my body sends gratitude by truly experiencing all my senses. The suns warmth on my head. The bitter and salty taste of blood and ocean. The smell of the crosswinds from the pacific. There is no greater moment. When you push on death, life pushes back harder.

There are moments when you look at your children and you get a chance to look into the future. It is a future without you. It is beyond you. You look at them and you see possibilities beyond your grave. You get to measure your past, present, and future in the eyes of these beautiful creatures. You wish that you could move them past the experience of pain that life will inevitably play upon them and guide them into all the joys it holds behind the corners.

When I leave home in the morning, my thoughts are no longer about my own adventures, but the small discoveries that they will encounter throughout the day. How will they experience the words and guidance of a daycare teacher. How will they absorb the actions of their miniature peers. They devour everything put in front of them, and piece by piece it adds to their being.

I will return home, hoping that they have not forgotten me. I hope that they have not found something in their day that makes them forget their smiles when they see me. Will they have learned something that fills their tiny heads with joy, in turn taking one more step away from me? It is inevitable. They hold tight at first and then slowly learn to let go. With that, I will long for the first day I left them alone. That day my heart was broken to leave them behind in the unknown. As I walked out of the care facility, I hope and prayed that they would forgive me.

I tread water. Revel in the moment. Take still pictures in my mind. Never forget this moment... life embraced me once more. Time to swim for shore.

Holiday Haul

2008-12-28T11:20:00.004-06:00

Chest is tight. There is no more air for my lungs to bathe in. The pressure starts to affect my vision. Blackness is creeping in. My hand is within inches of breaking the surface. Thoughts are racing with images of past and images yet unseen. Panic is starting to set in. The question of death creeps in. Painful? Easy? Quiet? Violent? Will it be there in the next moment...

Christmas was very enjoyable. It started out with the traditional homemade cinnamon rolls, sent to me by my mother. They were delicious.

Right after that, the gift annihilation began. The kids got a nice handful of toys courtesy of family and second hand stores. They have spent many hours with all of them already. Overall, i think they got everything they could have dreamt up for a three and two year old.

The generosity from our family is unmeasurable. From immediate to extended, everyone has been very giving. We cant thank everyone enough for all of their contributions. It really helped in making a great Christmas.

It was decided early on that my wife and i would not exchange any gifts, as we didn't really have the money this year. None the less, she still managed to buy me a few things, which makes her the sweetest and most lovable wife out there. It was enough to make me feel great.

My wonderful wife also made a great dinner that included a turkey ham. It sounds odd, but tasted great, and was healthier. Even Logan seemed to enjoy it.

The kids played hard, we had great food, finished the night with a movie, and just generally relaxed.

Grand Christmas. With that, i leave you with a little funny something. Enjoy.

Edge of Life

2008-12-20T12:15:00.008-06:00

The waves push and pull. The salt water fills my lungs. I frantically churn under the water, trying to find my way to the surface for air. The water is murky from the dark skies and the sand. Before i know it, i have hit bottom. I feel the blood start to flow from my forehead from the impact on the millions of small glass like shards on the ocean floor. In my fight to save my lungs from exploding in my chest, i have swam the wrong way. Now i have to push off the underside of earth, and hope that everything in the universe will help me reach the surface before i become a part of the abyss...

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I was informed that my notification of being laid off was rescinded. Nice to know that i will have a job in the new year. One less thing to worry about, and every little bit helps.

Stevie Ray's Cabaret had a great show last night. A lot of fun, and we were informed that the hotel is going to remodel the space. I am sure it will look something like this when it is done...

...or something like that.

Trying to get the kids ready for Christmas. They have had more fun destroying the tree rather then decorating it. As long as it is a good time for them. Both kids are suffering through a raspy cold, so they are constantly in an emotional flux. Currently they are watching Rudolph... what a cruel little show.

We had a lengthy conversation with the teen the other day. Hopefully we have made some connection that allows him to take on some self responsibility. Hope is about all you can rely on as you never know when you are actually making any headway.

The new minivan is working out fine. The only thing that is not working out is how you become invisible on the road. Minivans do not get any respect. A true prejudice exists out there for them. I came to a four way stop on more then one occasion yesterday, and each time it was my turn, other cars snaked me. I am thinking i am going to have to beef up the minivan to give it some notice ability. Please leave your suggestions under the comment section.

...even now i can see the surface. Through the blood and sand that surrounds me, i see a possibility. There are only seconds left...

Beast of Burden

2008-12-14T11:58:00.006-06:00

It sits outside. It is patient. I have watched it sleep, and it has watched back. It waits for the moment to fill its belly with flesh. Flesh of old and young. Its capacity to consume is greater then anything that has taken me before. Do i fear it? Maybe. It is still young in experience even though it has a solid ten years since its creation. Even at this moment it taunts me. It begs for me to bring my children out, as i have no way of keeping them from its clutches. It will raise its heart to great speed, and even though it is a giant, it will go unnoticed. Do i hate it? Maybe. There is no escaping it. I have spent many years avoiding its gaze, and now it sits outside my door. Do i need it??..... YES.

Weapons and Bouquets

2008-11-22T14:07:00.009-06:00

Well, tomorrow is an interesting occasion.

As some of you may know, i carry an unusual passion for Guns N Roses, and some of you may not know that, but i assume i will be judged accordingly. This is a passion that stems from my youth obviously, and because of that, i have mixed feelings about the release of Chinese Democracy tomorrow. I am currently listening to it, as it is streamed from the GNR MySpace page. So far my hopes are not being met, but they are not being dashed either.

I know that Axl is not necessarily the most liked rock icon, but an icon none the less. As is with most individuals who ascend to greatness, they descend even greater amd often times quicker. Original band members are gone. New band members have come and gone. Critics of all sorts have laid their judgements on this eccentric individual. I think of Machiavelli's, The Prince when i think of the history of Axl Rose, just a modern version. None the less, they have had to take notice.

13 years later this man has decided to lower the draw bridge and let the masses in. And so we enter. Some enter with joy, some with intrigue, some with alterior motives, and some with the intent to say they were there. Whatever the reason, the masses are entering. If anything we enter to see how this play ends.

So i sit here passing my own judgement. Definitely not recapturing my youth, but pleased the story continues.

Dual Processing the Whine

2008-11-17T11:29:00.001-06:00

Breathe old friend. Though you are just a piece of fruit, I have lightened your load. Breathe. I know it has been a while, and I am sure you thought that you may have lost the ability to run a faster path, but I have not forsaken you.

That’s right; the computer is running at the speed it was intended for. Turns out all those delicious videos of small children really chew up the gigabytes. With a bulk of them removed, as well as a handful of Larynx performance videos, I am once again enjoying my computer.

The weekend was spent doing some all around cleaning. Not only did I cut the clutter off the computer, but I cleared it off the office desk, home office desk, the kitchen desk, the kitchen counter, the kitchen nook, and the dining room table.

After all the de-cluttering, I proceeded to give the home shredder a complete workout. So much so, that it overheated on my three times. By the time I was done, I had enough confetti to set off Times Squares New Years Eve party. I’m sure the recycling lady will think I am covering up some unwanted documents for Lehman Brothers and give the government a call. (How fun would it be to have the job of trying to piece all of that together? The ultimate puzzle.)

Aside from the cleaning, the majority of the weekend was spent enjoying the kids. The levels of disagreements between the two are starting to soar. They are both becoming very clever as to how to antagonize the other. With that, comes a higher level of whining. Oh the whining. It is almost like art. The way they are able to make their statements so sing songy, yet brain piercing at the same time. You could send an army of whiney toddlers to a battle and they would have victory in seconds flat.

Outside of that, it was great to bond and play with my children. They remind me of how easy it is to get to the play when you are kids. Anything goes, and I love it. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to kick parent mode back in, just so I could see how far we could go, but jumping off the arms of the couch while naked could be dangerous for everyone.

Speaking of playing, The Outtakes had a great rehearsal. Great collective exercises and homework seems to be coming along swimmingly.

The evenings found my wife and me watching some comedy. Caught a few flicks. One worth mentioning was Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It caught me by surprise. Didn’t think I would like it, but I did. We also got to watch The Worst Week of My Life. It was funny and worth blowing a little time on. Basically turned Meet the Parents in to a week long show. (Thanks Larry B for the link).

Lots of improv on the brain as well this weekend, so maybe it is time to kick some of it in gear and implement. Time to bring in some new ideas.

Alas my fair fruit, you have endured my banter long enough. I shall relinquish my post and let your keys breathe.

Karmange

2008-11-05T20:37:00.005-06:00

And with each new day comes change. Change. Change that can be great. Change that can be hard. Change that can be tiresome.

The great. President elect Barack Obama. A president who has the potential to breathe life back into a country. I know everyone has been discussing the possibilities for our country, so i wont belabor you with another opinion.

The hard. The hard is feeling as though you had a foot hold on your life and the ability to support your family financially after years of suffering through our economy, only to have that foot hold give way. Translation, I was given my 60 day notice.

The Tiresome. The sad part about it is that i feel as though i am getting use to being "seperated" from a failing company. The mortgage industry has created a vast graveyard of careers, and no matter how fast i find myself climbing out of a 6 foot hole, im falling into another.

Im drained. Im tired. I need to seek a motivation that is beyond my reach. There is clearly some great misalignment in my karmic universe. Wait... what's that? Felix? Is that you? It is! Can't say that i am happy to see you.

Hallowersary

2008-11-01T14:06:00.004-05:00

Leather on Halloween.

That is the third year tradition.

It was a wonderful day. While at work my wife text me many pictures of a frog trick-or-treating throughout business buildings. Was great to see this amphibian gather candy for the first time.

Later on my wife and i would have a couple hours to ourselves to enjoy our anniversary together. We went and had some gourmet pizza at The California Kitchen. While there, we had some fun conversation and watched Nick Swardson* eat spaghetti like a pig. Hopefully he was doing it to impress the child he was with.

We then went and picked up the little ones. Got them home and prepped them for their big night out. They ate their dinner while my amazing wife let me catch about 30 min of sleep.

We headed out and started our neighborhood canvas. The kids were great and very polite. Jessie was eager to scream "Trick-or-Treat" while Logan was eager to pass out his candy at each house. I think all the neighbors were taken by surprised when Logan through candy back in their bowls. He was a generous puppy.

The teenager went to a Halloween party. When he got home, he was out of sorts. He claims "really happy" mood, we claim a mood enhancer. The joys of teenage parenting.

The night was capped off with some soup containing MSG and House on Haunted Hill and House on Haunted Hill 2**.

A great anniversary as the majority of the day was spent with my lovely and beautiful wife. Oh yeah, she gave me some leather, but that's between us.

*Amazing what LA passes for "talent" these days
**These movies sucked for horror. Could anyone recommend a truly good horror film. Maybe a blog devoted to these bad films are on the horizon.

Mental Raking

2008-10-25T14:04:00.004-05:00

nos·tal·gi·a (nŏ-stāl'jə, nə-) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.

Fall brings it on. Not sure why, but it does.

There are just particular times that i truly wish that Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman really had invented the WABAC Machine. I would jump in there and revisit some of the cherished moments of life. Let me reflect on a few...

The first time i caught air at the Fort Kam half pipe in Hawaii.

The time i caught a winning touchdown pass for my block "Lufberry Players" against our neighboring block on Seymour Johnson AFB in Goldsboro NC.

The first, second, and third time i wend to Disneyworld with family.

My first award for a relief print i created at the Ala Moana Mall.

My first kiss that took way to long to happen because i was not good at reading girls and when I finally did it she gave me a look that told me I should have done that about twenty minutes early. All while sitting in her cool car outside of my house in Grand Forks AFB, ND.

A kiss that took place in Bloomington MN next to an old blueChevy Cavalier with the same girl as the first kiss, but this one was much better, passionate, and waaaay less awkward.

The first time i got a huge laugh while doing stand up at Hot Rox's in Minneapolis.

Watching both my children being born at a local Fairview hospital.

My first roller coaster ride on the Wild Thing with my best friend.

Attending my first Guns N Roses concert. Then my second... and my third and fourth.

There are so many other things, some of them not appropriate for all readers (feel free to ask).
Well, less time being spent in the past, and time to make some future. None the less, if you run across the WABAC Machine, let me know.

Im Flirting With Her Again

2008-10-23T20:43:00.004-05:00

I was pounding nine inch nails in the garden of sound while standing next to some gorillaz.

Today was a long day, and when push came to shove, i had to lean on some music. Its strange how all the daily activities of life can pull you away from the things you love, something like music. I use to have a serious relationship with music. We would hang out most of my days, always finding a way to spend time together at any cost. She was always there for me. She could turn any mood i had at the moment into something else because she knew how to reach me. Most of it was my choice, but sometimes she would surprise me with something when the shuffle was on. Without a doubt, it was a love affair that i never thought would dwindle, but it did.

This morning, i woke from some seriously messed up dreams, and i had an edginess to me that made everything seem like it was in slow motion and a slight feeling of panic. The remedy... music. I grabbed my ipod, that has been dormant for some time, and took it with me out the door as i headed for the bus. I hit play hoping it was on a song that would enlighten me. Sure enough, i was grasped by Trent Reznor, and the timing couldn't be better. The sun was just starting to kiss the skyline so there was a sharp contrast. Just above the black trees the color was an off purple that slowly blended to a grey and then black. Truly something out of the surreal world of NIN. I could feel my body start to embrace the morning as the song Everyday is Exactly the Same pumped through my veins. No coffee needed.

I hammered through my work day with little to no break. I was relieved when it came time to catch the bus home as it would be my only break. There were some cherubs at home waiting to be loved and fed. I immediately hit the shuffle at the bus stop and was greeted with some cartoon love. People by the Gorillaz to be exact. It just seem to kick the unwind right in the gut. The afternoon held for a true fall day. Visually everything was in the grey zone, as was all the greyies (9 to 5er's with no life in them). Not to be pulled in to that zone, it was time for a mix of four different Soundgarden albums. It was pleasing to me, but i believe not so pleasant for those around me. As i was rekindling my love with music, my body was sharing in its presence by holding rhythm. Greyies don't like this.

I got off the bus, and finished the walk home next to Peter Murphy. It was truly a lasting kiss from my lover to hold the day.

For everything that was trying to pull my into the abyss, my love help me stay rooted and make the most of the day. Most of all, it inspired me to visit my other mistress... painting.

I'm coming for you honey. Pucker up.

The Grand Mother

2008-10-22T20:34:00.003-05:00

A mothers love is great.

It is amazing how fast time can go by. My mother arrived a month ago to visit and help with the kids, and today she left to go back home. It is always a treat to have her here. She is wonderful with the kids, and they love all the attention they get from her, not to mention all the great things she does for the rest of the family. Cooking, laundry, cleaning. She is a non-stop domestic machine. Her generosity is never ending and there just seems no great way to thank her for all she does. She knows how to make things that can be a burden seem lighter. My heart is saddened when she has to go home. Her disappearance here is quite noticable. Even the home itself seems to breathe a heavy sadness with out her.

Well, we will carry on. The family will miss her greatly, especially the great food. Jessie will miss the trips to the park, Logan will miss the early morning one on one time, Jeff will miss the freedom of having to watch the kids, Karen will miss the extra sleep, Axl and Marla will miss the food dish always being full, and I will miss her.

Thanks Mom, we love you.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

2008-10-18T16:51:00.003-05:00

The financial front is not better, but getting there. Things have been filed, and are well underway. The constant phone calls have started to subside.

The phone calls. Though i have found them highly annoying, i know somewhere deep inside me i will miss them. I have found that i have developed a certain sense of belonging every time my phone rings. I have never been this popular. To get four to five calls a day was something i never experienced until things went sour financially. Granted, the first phone calls were very ugly with a lot of aggressive language that would make the average person squirm or cry. As time went by though, i found them amusing. Since the economy started tanking, the tone on the other end of the phone has become somewhat nurturing. I believe with so many people not able to pay their bills, the creditors decided to take a different approach, especially if they still wanted to get paid themselves. Amusingly enough, i actually felt more compelled to try and get money to them (but i didn't) when they treated me like a human being with respect. So now, in the next step in my financial adventure, the phone calls have ceased, and so my popularity has waned. I find myself checking my phone on a regular basis to make sure it is still working. It is.

It has come to this. I say farewell to my creditors calls. I will miss the feeling of being needed, but not the reason for the call. I will be okay. It is for the best. Our break up is complete.

Late Night Metaphor

2008-10-02T00:32:00.004-05:00

There are only so many balls you can juggle.

We all have our own capacity. No matter how hard you may try to get more balls in the air, you can only handle a set amount. Eventually you get to many in the mix, and you will drop one or more. It will be the one you drop that you will struggle with. Why, because that is the only one people will notice. Never mind the fact that you are still coordinating ten other balls, its that ONE...

As we all go through our daily lives juggling, let us show compassion and most of all forgiveness for the dropped ball, because eventually you will drop one. Along with forgiveness let us also bring apologies, because you never know when you have been the cause for the dropped ball.

Late Night Metaphor brought to you by Calgon.

Radio Flyer

2008-09-27T15:06:00.003-05:00

"Cart!" "Cart!" "Cart!"

This is the one thing that my 19 monthe old son remembers most of his 4 days in the Children's Hospital. It also seems to be the only word he wants to say since we have been home.

A week ago Friday, he came home from daycare with what looked to be a bug bite or small scratch on his knee. At the time, it didnt seem like anything serious, but over the next two days his knee slowly swelled and became red. By Monday morning, he was limping and doing his best to guard it. He would let nothing come in contact with it, and when something or someone did, you knew by the screech that soundedd like a seal being crushed.

I immediately made an appt with his pediatrician for noon that day. In the meantime, i dropped him off at daycare and headed to work. I headed back to his daycare about 1130 to find his room playing outside. The interesting thing was that he managed to get himself to the top of the playcenter(not sure what they are called any more... jungle gym, monkey house, plastic structure of death), but could not get back down. Apparently it hurt his knee to much to climb down. This was told to me by the crack daycare staff, that apparently had enough brains to figure out what was happening with him, but not enough brains to help him get down. I feel so secure knowing they are caring for my children, but that is another blog for another day.

I arrived at the pediatricians office, and the fun began. He couldnt see his regular doctor due to the short notice, so we saw the doctor who had a "im suspicious of you as a parent" attitude. Wonderful. After she aggressively checked all of my childs vitals, making him cry non stop, she recommended that they he be admitted right away.

The reason for this actually started a handful of months ago. Logan had a rash that started out much like pimples. After everything being done for him, the rash did not go away, it evolved. It started being more like small blisters and exzema. This in turn became two boils on his groin area and buttock. These had to be lanced and drained. Another unfortunate experience that my wife had to handle solo. They finally cultured the infection to discover that he had MRSA.

I will not go into everthing about MRSA, but i will say that it is a staph infection that does not respond well to antibiotics. There are different degrees of MRSA, and some can be deadly. We all carry a form of MRSA, but there are strains that you definitely dont want. And Logan has one of those strains.

The reason the doctor at the pediatricians office wanted to send him to the Children's Hospital is because the infection he had was over his knee, and therefore could have moved into his joint. She wanted him seen by an orthopedic surgeon, as she believed his knee might need surgery. First they needed to take blood. That was a fiasco. The new nurse started her vein fishing on his left arm, and after about 3 minutes of not hitting a vein and daddy getting a little more then perturbed with having to pin his child down while he begged for mercy, the other nurse recommended the other arm. GREAT. The other arm did not prove fruitful for that nurse either. That is when the other nurse jumped in and nailed the vein in seconds flat. This only served to upset me. I realize that the new nurse has to learn, but if she cant do it on the first arm, i think that the child needs to be given a break. Im just thinking that would be along the lines of COMMON SENSE. With that over, we could leave.

I headed back to daycare, picked up his sister and headed to the CH. We checked in the roller coaster of doctors, nurses, and needles began.

Once we were in the back, they immediately decided to hook Logan to an IV. That would be his third stick within two hours. Rough day. Luckily, this nurse had a little more compassion and was a little more prepared to make it easy. Though it hurt, it only lasted about 3 minutes compared to the 10 minutes earlier that day. Later that evening, the doctors decided that they would go with an MRI before the surgery to see if it was necessary. This would mean anesthia, and then another IV in the foot. He got through that. By the end of the day, my name was no longer Daddy, it was Daaaaaaaddyyyyyyyyy. Heartbreaking every time he pleaded to me.

Another rough part about all of this is that my wife was out of town. Her grandfather had died and she and our teenager went to the funeral. Needless to say, she was having more then an emotional week. Knowing her baby was in the hospital and she couldnt be there was driving her crazy. She would arrive on the second day.

They admitted us that night to the hospital. The Drs decided that he would not need surgery, and would just receive antibiotics in the hospital until they felt he was ready to go home.

He would spend the next four days in the hospital, having his vitals taken every three hours, and having his knee squeezed regularly, the crushed seal returning every time. He fell in love with the wagon that he could be pulled around in the hospital, better known as "Cart". Grandma also showed up on Tuesday, helping us greatly by dealing with the other kids. Thanks Mom!

Thankfully the MRSA responded to the antibiotic they chose. Giving our family great relief. He is well on his way to recovery. We have had to clean the house top to bottom, and still are not finished. We have to wash the linens in the whole house seven days in a row. Everyone in the house has to put a topical antibiotic on their nose and we have to wash with a special soap. All this to try and reduce the chances of continuing to sread MRSA.

A very tiring and exhausting week. Many details in between, but that is the short version.

So what did i learn out of all of this? That my wife was right a couple years ago when she said the kids really need a wagon, or as Logan calls it "CART"!

Dont Call It a Comeback

2008-09-20T21:15:00.001-05:00

I am going to be returning. I have had a busy couple weeks, so much to blog about.
Stay tuned.

SS of Summer

2008-09-08T21:08:00.003-05:00

There is a sweet spot between summer and fall. It is anywhere between 4 to 10 days on average. Its where the temperature is cool at night and gets very warm during the day. These are the days that remind me most of my childhood and obviously make me the most nostalgic. I'm reminded of nights i would spend on a cement pier on Hickam Air Force Base with the cool trade winds cutting across the water. If everyday of the year could be like this, I would be a very happy individual.
The unfortunate part is that it can not.
Fall is inevitable. Through my many years of living in the upper Midwest, i have come to dislike fall, as it is the introduction to winter. If there is one thing people know about me, it is that i don't enjoy winter. I have tried, but it is clearly not in me. So with that, i have to hold for the Sweet Spot.
I have tried to advise my wife that we should move to a beach. This is where i would be most happy. To be able to interact with a wave on a regular basis would be perfection. To hear the surf pounding in the morning over and over as the sun rises is like being next to a warm heart beat of a lover. My wife responds with the greatest of emotion. I can tell she is overwhelmed with my desire by the way she first looks to the floor and then to the heavens and then to the floor again. All this in one fell swoop. Probably more commonly known as an "eye roll". I will keep hoping. For now, the Sweet Spot.
So with that said or written, I wish everyone a Happy Sweet Spot time of year. Go outside. Roll in the grass with your children or loved one. Adore the flowers. Admire the green on the landscape. Breathe in the many final smells of summer. Catch a glimpse of a collector car before it gets put in storage. Take your dog to a park. Bake in the sun. Go for a bike ride around a lake. Just realize the Sweet Spot can be unpredictable, so don't put it off. May you use these final days of summer wisely and breathe the air in deep, as its about to get a little thinner.

Fair Days

2008-08-31T18:46:00.002-05:00

I have made it. A full day at the Minnesota State Fair.
At first i was a little worried, but then i realized Brett Williams would be by our side to guide us through the great get together. As an added bonus, Tim Dybevik would act as backup in case Brett became unavailable.
We had four 30 minute shows with Stevie Rays throughout the day. In between the sets, we would be able to roam the fairgrounds. And we did.
We went and found some typical fair food such as a Pronto Pup, which is NOT a corn dog. There is a difference. I had the Pronto Pup. Wrong choice. Enjoyed a cookie and that was about the extent of it.
We did go to the Pirate shoot out. That was a good time had by all. Brett made the unfortunate mistake of putting his bucket of balls (insert joke here) on the upper ledge, exposing it to the shootout. With one swift shot, Brett's balls were everywhere, as was Brett.
The shows went off well. The longer the day went on, the more exhausted the troupe became. None the less, we made the crowd laugh, and in the end, i believe we may have secured a bigger stage for next year. Well see. Thanks Tim for the initial foot in the door.
We all gathered up and jumped in the van that would take us across the fair grounds to our cars. It was amazing how fair goers can become very angry and seething over a vehicle cutting through the street. Luckily the windows were tinted and our identities were protected from the short fused mob. The joys of the fair.
I was glad to get back to my car and head home, knowing i wouldn't have to deal with the fair for a long time to come... or would I?
The answer... no. The family and I would embark the next day.

Aftermath of B-day

2008-08-22T20:05:00.002-05:00

I wanted to write about my birthday (as it was yesterday), but i find that i don't have time at the moment. Please stay posted, as i promise a surprise.

Lifes Fare

2008-08-13T19:59:00.003-05:00

It was a little hotter then usual that day. Instead of the normal Hawaiian 86 degrees with ideal trade winds , it was somewhere in the mid 90's and calm. Dave, John, and myself had been skating (skateboarding) over most of Hickam Air Force Base and were exhausted. We decided that we wanted to make our way to Wallows and then on to Waikiki to hit some surf to cool down. John usually had his parents car, but it was in the shop. So we turned to the only other transportation that we knew of ... the bus.

It was a little strange and exciting to board a city bus for the first time. It slowly rolled up coming to a stop at a barren corner of the east side of the base. The brakes screeched with the typical air release. The driver was an older gentleman, rather heavy set, with glasses that looked like they were bullet proof. The only words that were uttered were "keep em off the floor". Apparently he didn't care for the skateboards. It was a typical bus. It had hard blue plastic seats, and was rather spacious. There weren't even any bars running the length of the bus for passengers to hold. It was jsut white and blue, void of any images. It was 1985. There was no one on the bus, so we headed to the back to camp out. There was no A/C, but the windows were open and generated enough wind to cool us down. The engine started to roar as we took off. I remember feeling eager to be venture the island with our new found travel. We saw interesting people enter and exit, most of them friendly. Even held some conversations with a few. I saw parts of the island i had not seen before, all while enjoying the company of my friends. Somehow, i felt i had aged that day.

Fast forward 23 years. My sister in law is giving birth to her brand new baby boy, and my wife is by her side in the delivery room. She tells me she wont be able to pick me up after work. That leaves me only one choice... the Bus.

It was a muggy afternoon in downtown Minneapolis. I had no skateboard (its at home), and i had to make a trek from WFHM to Lake and 35W in order to catch the bus. After a ten minute walk I climbed the 30 plus stairs to the bus stop sitting on the edge of the interstate. I waited with about 6 other people for the chariot that would take us to our domain. One by one they all disappeared onto their respective bus. Finally mine rolled up. As it did, i could see that it was full... completely.

The bus rolled up with the familiar release of the brakes. Excitement started rising in me much like my youth. Nostalgia started setting in. Door swung open and the bus driver didn't even look my way. Already i could tell things were different from my youth. I stepped about a foot past the yellow line, that had not been there 23 years ago, and was not able to move any further. Every seat and standing space was taken. No one was making eye contact. No one was talking. People were either reading books, listening to ipods, or staring blankly out the window. I call it City Grey. Everyone is somewhere in between the black and the white. They are just grey. There were advertisements running the length of the bus. Everywhere you looked, there was some kind of information being shoved down your consuming throat. Quite a bit had changed from my youth. There was no communication from anyone. Things had definitely changed. People made great effort not to connect with the person whom their bodies were literally pressed up against. It was sad to see this. It reminded me of my youth and the freedom I had and the freedom people had with each other in general. One by one they would all leave the bus. They would utter "thank you" to the bus driver, but not with some genuine feeling, but an obligation to the fact it was done by the passenger before them. I was the last one to exit the bus. Before i did, i tried to strike a conversation with the bus driver, but he seemed off put by it. I tried. I left the bus with a feeling of disappointment. I wanted to feel that same energy from my early days. It was not to be had.

So, i made the ten minute walk home. Thought about my kids and the new baby born that day, and could only hope they wouldn't become one of the Grey's. After arriving home, i went to the basement, grabbed my skate(skateboard) and tried to refresh my youth. The day was not lost.

Olympic Blog

2008-08-09T13:43:00.003-05:00

What a terribly busy and stressful week.

I know what your thinking, is he part of the 2008 Olympics?? Does he have great stress due to all the training? Is his schedule filled with opening ceremonies, and last minute adjustments to the meeting all new people in a foreign land? I know that it would seem these to be valid questions, but the answer is no, I did not attend the Olympics opening ceremony. I did however have lots of training and met lots of new people in my new permanent job (which is on a different floor in a different building which is technically foreign to me).

My new job consists of me learning a whole new program to work in, and it is slow going to say the least. Hopefully i can get a better handle on it next week, so that i can feel more productive.

Along with a new system to learn, came lots of new names to learn... which is hard. The reason it is hard is something i have yet to figure out. You see, up until the age of about 26, i was able to remember every persons name that i met. I had an uncanny ability to remember one time acquaintances. I'm talking names that were useless to remember, like the boyfriend of your girlfriends cousin (Mike Boyd). Something changed in my brain in my late 20's, and now names are like gibberish. I will here a name, and literally, fractions of a second later, it is gone. It is like i leap forward in time when introductions are being made. My brain has turned on me. As a result of this, i can not manage introductions without looking like a fool. There is no finer moment then when you go to introduce your wife to a long time friend and realize you cant remember your... wife's name. Okay, it hasn't been that bad, but it certainly feels like it.

The days were busy, and the evenings were as well.

Tuesday saw the final 6 Ring of the quarter which was fun. It was the last night of CSGG (Club Squad Group Gang), as all the teams will be mixed up for the next round. It will be exciting to start coaching a new team from scratch.

Later that night the wife (whats her name...come on Jason, THINK) and I went to see An Intimate Evening with Mike Fotis. It is one of the many shows of the Fringe Festival. It was hilarious. Great story telling Mike. Nice job.

Wednesday was rehearsal for Stevie Ray's. It was a great rehearsal, as it was time to stretch the brains a little and really start juggling improv skills. I think the expressions left on the troupe was all the assurance i needed to know that i had gave them a work out. Came home that night and grilled and had some great conversations with Dave (something last name... dammit Jason, you can do this!)

Monday and Thursday was an evening busy with children. Insert multiple parenting things here. Thursday also came with a late night get together at Josh and Alicia's new home. My wife (I know its in there somewhere, think boy, THINK) and I went for some grilling and conversations with people we knew and new acquittance's (not even going to try).

Friday evening was also an evening of children and house cleaning. The first time in a while i was home alone with the little ones. The reason for that is because the teenager has begun working. That's right. If your at the BNW on a Friday or Saturday, you may be seated by him. He has a new title, and it is usher boy. Not sure how he feels about it yet, as he is not very expressive, but i am sure the money that can come from it might raise the emotional meter. We will see. The rest of the evening was spent with Karen (wait a minute, that's it, I DID IT!) watching some bad television. It seems like weeks since we were able to do that. Kind of cool.

Well that turned out to be quite the weekly recap blog. Sorry about that. Probably was more of a debrief from all the stress of some of it. It doesn't read very stressful, but trust me, it was in there. I'm off, i have to start stretching out for week two of ...(insert my name, CRAP!) Olympics.

Patchey the Painter

2008-08-03T11:11:00.003-05:00

Aaaaargh, ahoy matey! That's right, I'm speaking pirate. Alas is time to finally paint the baby's bedroom. Okay, hes not so much a baby anymore, but i finally have the walls prepped and a severe itch to put my BFA to work.

The theme of the room if you haven't guessed yet is pirates and sea life. Capt. Jack Sparrow will be gracing a wall, and the wonderful world of Bikini Bottom will also make an appearance. I am thinking about limiting it to just these two themes, but am open for any other suggestions that might be cool to create. Feel free to submit ideas.

I have been trying to do research for murals in bedrooms, and i have to say, there isn't a lot out there. Let me correct that statement. There is a lot out there, but the majority of it isn't very good. There are a few stunning pieces i have seen, so there is some inspiration there, but it looks like i will just have to wing it. Having not sketched or painted in a while, i find myself a little rusty, and truly having to blow the cobwebs out of the visual recesses of the right side of my brain. It will be interesting to see how long this takes me. Will it truly be "like riding a bicycle", or will it be more like trying to figure out trigonometry. Well see.

I will try and keep some pics going up of the progress, that way everyone can experience my success, or my difficulty with math.

I suppose i should stop stalling and jump to it, so avast mateys, its time to hoist the sails and set sea. Aaaaaargh. The course be set for a land of paint and wonderment. Aargh... aarh... ar

Bouncing Baby Girl

2008-07-28T12:51:00.004-05:00

On this day of the year, some time ago, my parents gave birth to a baby girl. That baby girl would become my only sibling, my friend, my protector, and my confidant.

I say all this because my sister and I were raised in the military. Because of that, we moved to different parts of the country, and often would have to count on each other to be our first friend in a strange location. I believe this gave us a bond that some siblings miss out on, but something that has always been there, no matter how many miles separate us now.

I have great admiration for my sister and her ability to persist. You see, she has always been someone who has seen a direction for herself, and has made it happen. She is accomplished academically. She has always been revered in her workplace. She has overcome some great personal trials in her life, and some ongoing. None the less, she is always holding her head up and moving forward.

My sister is very generous. She will help and provide advice when ever she can. She will extend herself in whatever means she can.

Today, I honor my sister. For all the reasons listed and so much more, I wish her a very happy birthday. Here's to you!! I love you!

The Dark Opinion

2008-07-27T12:39:00.012-05:00

Well, i have joined millions in being a viewer of...The Batman/The Joker. And if your wondering, yes, i have commentary... but not about the movie.

My commentary is about how you are treated when you don't agree with the populace on their majority opinion. It seems that people take The Batman very seriously.

For the sake of this commentary, my opinion of the movie is this... Heath Ledger as the Joker was incredible, captivating and left me wanting more. The rest of the movie i felt was decent, but not worth the hype. The last 20 to 30 minutes felt forced, and The Batman had a terrible case of lock jaw and laryngitis, and the comparison to the current administration was a bit of a push. Nuff said.

That being said, I would like to state for the record, it is an OPINION.

I attended a party with my wife last night, where the topic of the movie came up far more than once, and naturally i stated my opinion. You would be amazed at the reaction. You would think that i told everyone that puppies were the devils work sent here to eat small children. Immediately people went on the defensive to squash my opinion by displaying their deep knowledge of Batman trivia, names of producers, directors, actors, PAs, and my inability to see the warm hug DC was trying to give to its fans with this film.

I don't know what it was, but this opinion seemed to affect the relations between friends of old to new acquaintances. I felt judgement that i have not felt before, all over a movie. A two and A HALF hour film about a vigilante in a costume saving a city from destruction. I can see where this story, which is clearly based on truth by every one's reaction, should cause a reevaluation of friendships based in REAL life.

For the record, i have been a fan of Batman since childhood. If there is any doubt, ask one of the members of The Outtakes*. I have plenty of room for the success of The Batman, unfortunately my opinion says... too much hype.

So... a warning. If you found the film not matching all the buzz, be careful who you express your point of view to. It could cost your credibility. The majority will not stand for dissension. They will come at you with great vigor to have you conform. To the majority i have only one thing left to say....

*The answer to a commonly asked question for a suggestion.

Puddin Baby

2008-07-24T07:22:00.004-05:00

You have a 17 month old child dressed in a diaper, and he is covered in chocolate pudding head to toe. What do you do?

A. Leave him do his own devices and hope that his little tongue can reach everywhere.

B. Give him to the dogs to lick clean in about 10 minutes, but deal with dog breath baby all evening.

C. Let him finally play in the dogs water bowl.

D. Tell his sister that you have a treat for her.

E. Get him to bed early, and let mommy discover him in the morning.

F. Tell the teenager that he had a blow out, and you need him to clean him up.

G. Bathe him.

Ready. Set. Comment.

To a Good Home-

2008-07-19T18:58:00.003-05:00

He has a name, although he doesn't know it, or respond to it. He is affectionate at all times, but does not know when to stop. He loves his toys. When anger is thrown his ways, he is oblivious to it because of his disposition. He weighs 65 pounds, and is awkward with his body. He has a tough time navigating and coordinating stairs. He is 3 and a half years old and he is deaf. Because of his lack of hearing, he has a very childlike attitude. He just wants to play all the time. He couldn't hurt a fly if he tried. He is currently our foster child. We are giving him as much love and care as possible, but it is coming close to a time to let him go. We are hoping that a good family adopts him, as he has been through other foster families that have not been kind. If you have it in your heart, and are ready to bring a child into your life, we would be happy to discuss his adoption. I have included a picture below.

Leave It to Felix- Starring Jason as the Beaver

2008-07-17T17:27:00.005-05:00

I will recognize this for its ray of light that i have been looking for. There has been a dark cloud hovering over me for quite some time. So much so that i have named it. I call him Felix. Felix has shown me that he really enjoys my company, and has worked hard to stay by my side. Just when i have thought that he might be leaving, he doubles up and hits me with a bolt of lightning. Oh Felix, your so unpredictable. Felix has made sure that the light stays away as much as possible. I have to give him props for his dedication. He has really hung in there... until today. Today, Felix could not stop some light shining through no matter how hard he tried. That little ray of light came in the package of a JOB.

And so, it has happened. My temping has come to an end and given me a doorway unto benefits, PTO's, and job security (unless i go nuts one day, and they "release "me). I am happy for my family mostly. In the "non-recession" that we are experiencing, i am considering myself lucky. So now i should have benefits, and with kids, that is cause for celebration.

I'm sure this has a tone of reluctance, because it does. It is bittersweet. The job is not in the field I have been wanting to go back to, but the field i have been trying to escape. Right now, there isn't much choice with so much economic uncertainty, so i must move forward, and hold my head high. I will just have to continue to work on my portfolio and hunt for the graphics position with hope that i will return to it full time. Eventually someone will want to higher the old guy with lots of client experience but who has been out of the field full time for about eight years. It has to happen. For sanity.

There is another upside to this job, and that is that i get to wear jeans most of the time. (Comfort is everything)

Well Felix, your powers seem to be weakening. I can only hope this is a trend, as your dark green and black exterior no longer frightens me. If anything i shall look back at you with fondness. I could be getting ahead of myself, so I will leave it at that.

Assurances? Oui.

2008-07-11T07:13:00.005-05:00

Once again, the medical industry has gone above and beyond to not impress me.

On Monday evening, i was playing a game of softball with The Skirt Turtles. I was playing center field when a ball was hit to me. I went to throw the ball in, when a loud crack came from my shoulder, causing a lot of uncomfortable pain and the inability to lift my arm up. (you will be happy to know that the runner made it home safely, which is not a good thing. ) I did end up finishing the game, but I did not assist my team to a victory, as we lost.

The next day my wife made me an appointment to see a Dr. on Thursday at 3:30. I got a voice mail yesterday morning, day of the appt., that the Dr would have to cancel my appt., and that i could call in to reschedule. Annoyed, i called them back right away and explained that i had already scheduled time off work to come in. I believe the nurse, who seemed to hate her job, sensed my annoyance with this fact and explained to me that "Dr. John* was sick and couldn't come in today, Dr.s get sick too ya know, and there isn't much you can do about that, so oh well." Really... Okay, whatever. Trying to stay pleasant about the situation i asked if i could please see another Dr. at that time. She said that no one was available, and that she would transfer me to the advisement line to see what they could offer. The woman who answered this line (after 12 min of hold music) was very pleasant. I couldn't believe it, i thought i had fallen in to some parallel universe. This woman was very attentive to my needs and understanding. I couldn't believe that she allowed us to hold a status that was equal, and held a conversation that two adults would have over the phone. Could this change my opinion of the medical profession... no. Why? Because she told me this... " Lets see, you were suppose to see Dr. John*... lets see why they cancelled that... oh yes.. Dr. John will be on vacation for a month starting tomorrow, and i guess he wanted to get a jump on that. " Are you F#*!ing serious???? I just got lied to AND made to feel guilty because "Dr.s get sick too", and the truth is this guy couldn't see me because he wanted to double check that he packed his water wings and SPF 40 for the MONTH vacation he is about to take. SERIOUSLY!?!?! Health care professionals SUCK ASS! What ever happened to the patient??? This made my day unpleasant. Not only that, but they couldn't get me into an appt, so i had to go to urgent care. I wont even go in to detail there about how the receptionist was an elitist bitch, and the Dr. was Bambi on steroids and dumb juice.

Lets just say that it turned out that I do NOT have a torn rotator cuff as i thought i might, so the Dr. "guesses". He believes it is a severe strain which in his words "mine as well be a torn rotator cuff, because it has the same symptoms and outcome". So, i was referred to an orthopedic Dr. (sarcastic YAY!), if i think i want to consider surgery, as "my arm wont be the same the rest of my life, and that i will have to live with the pain"... and inability to have the powerful throwing arm i once had. Ugh

That is that. I am pretty sure I will be moving to France in the older years, as health care is free and the quality of care is top rated.

* Not real Dr.'s name. I don't know why, but i feel like i should protect this ignorant man's identity, even if he is sitting in the Caribbean sipping on a Corona rolling in my insurance money laughing as it sticks to his body covered in SPF 40 .

...Update and Run...

2008-07-10T13:37:00.007-05:00

Just a quick post to let people know that i am here.
I will write a much longer, deserving blog in the near future.
Just a heads up though...

1) I am dealing with a possible torn rotator cuff. Should know this afternoon for sure.

2) July 4th was good. More later.

3) 24 Hour Improv Marathon is this weekend, and once again Larynx will be kicking off the festivities. Come see us at 10:30 pm Sat. There will also be many other talented groups performing, including some of the the groups i direct and coach. http://www.bravenewworkshop.org/events.php

4) There is also a possibility of a change on the job front. More later.

Ciao for now

Re(turn) to /Re(cap) of /Re(covery) from TCIF

2008-07-02T07:35:00.007-05:00

The Twin Cities Improv Festival was a great success, again. I want to tip my hat to Five Man Job, Jill Bernard, the staff at the BNW, and all the improvisers who put great effort into making this past weekend a memorable event.

I was fortunate enough to be apart of it all as a performer with Larynx, Stevie Ray's, and as an audience member.

Our Larynx set, with out a doubt, had to be our strongest to date. After a couple of rough rehearsals before show time, we managed to pull a strong set that opened the TCIF festival. Needless to say, I was very proud of the product we put up. Both Dave Kappellhoff and Josh Eakright were on their game, and i felt like we hit the sweet spot of improvising. A big part of that success also came from the keys that underscored us, graciously provided by Jen Scott. Her talent really helped us shine and push into some new areas. Thanks to the three of them for giving me an improvisational high to kick off the festival.

The Stevie Ray's set came an hour later, and was just as fun. I hung back a little more in this set, mostly due to still trying to come off my ride with Larynx. Without naming all the performers, everyone on the team brought some strong scenes to present what a fun, funny, and professional troupe that we are. Stevie had the crowd from the start and before we knew it, it was over. As always, Michael Erickson provided the keys which is a strong backbone to our success. Thanks you guys for making my lack of jumping less noticeable by your ownership of stage.

The rest of the weekend felt like a blur of improvisation. Some highlights for me...
SCRAM, amazing for the depth of characters. Five Man Job, bringing a real sensibility of play. Pimprov for the over the top characters. Brave New Workshop for screwing with each other. Bassprov for experiencing the nuances. Neutrino for making it look easy. Mustache Rangers for the range of patience. Lastly, Buddy Daddy, just for the cuteness of a dog(come on, a puppy on stage, you cant lose).

The after party at the CC Club on Saturday was great as well. Was nice to meet so many other players, and catch up with friends. It felt like a rare chance to have our improv community together to bond. I think it is something we should strive to happen more outside of a festival. Maybe a quarterly party for Twin Cities Improvisers?? Maybe that is an undertaking to consider. Ill make note of it.

Lastly, i want to thank Vitamin Water. Not only was it provided free to us by Coke, but it was awesome to have a product become the inside joke for the whole festival. Way to go sugar water.

TCIF 2

2008-06-26T11:09:00.007-05:00

Twin Cities Improv Festival starts tonight ladies and gentleman, and the opening act is none other than LARYNX. That's right. Come check out Dave K., Josh E., and myself perform magical improvisation.

Larynx/T-Rex Force

7pm, $10

The second show of the evening is none other than STEVIE RAY'S, which will consist of myself and many of our other talented performers. Come check us out.

Stevie Ray's/ Scram

830pm, $10

The fest is happening from today until Sunday, and there is a lot of talent coming to perform and workshops to be taught.
This is going to be a fun filled weekend with shows, learning, laughter, parties, and a deaf pit bull. So come enjoy some part of it.
Here is the link to the website for more information.

http://www.twincitiesimprovfestival.com/

ps-more to come on the deaf pit bull

Meaning of Life

2008-06-22T08:07:00.005-05:00

While shopping the other day for children's Tylenol, my wife and I came across the cycle of life at none other than Wal-Mart. Thanks to my wife for pointing this gem out to me.

You may be asking yourself how this is possible at Wal-Mart. Well, I'm about to tell you and show you.

If you look carefully at this photo, taken near the pharmacy section, you will be able to see what I am speaking of.

Lets start at the bottom left, and work our way around clockwise.

As you can see, we have basic condoms on the bottom three rows. This would be where most first time sexually active people direct their eye. They want nothing more then the basics, as their experience in this department is minimal.

As we move up, you can see that we start to get into some experimental things, like vibrating rings. This would be for those that have more then likely been with their partner for a longer period of time, and wish to try something "new".

Moving up, we see basic to advanced lubricants come in to view. If you have reached lubricant stage, you are probably pretty comfortable with your partner, and realize some aid is needed. You ll notice that these things are eye level. The reason for this is that there are A LOT of comfortable people at this stage and it makes it easier for a quick purchase.

Now we start getting into the more interesting spot. Above the lubricants, you ll notice there are the pregnancy tests. This is an interesting section. I think Wal-Mart gave this some thought. This section would be for two types of people. The first would be the people who have moved from the lubricant stage into "lets have a family" stage. That step is probably pretty obvious. The second group consists of our less experienced group from the bottom of the shelf. You see, when the condom failed the beginners, they come running back to the pharmacy for the pregnancy test. The reason Wal-Mart was smart to put it at the top of this section is because this group of people will be talking upward to their respective God, so it is easier for them to see on the top shelf.

Onward. As you may notice there is the children's Tylenol on the top shelf on the right. This one is fairly obvious as well. You have been successful in your sexual endeavors, whether you wanted to be or not, and now you have to try and cure some of those teething problems, or one of the many illnesses that a child brings home from the petri dish, aka daycare.

Right under that we move into the muscle relief cream. This is where we have moved into a mature part of our life, because we are able to recognize that our muscles are not what they once were, and we don't mind smelling like a mint factory to ease our pain. Tending to children being a large part of this pain.

Downward to the final shelves. We have begun to hit that point in our life where the children are gone, and so are some of our reflexes and the ability to hold a glass. Yes, arthritis relief is next as well as something to numb that constant back ache. Realize this, your backache is probably a result of having to lift your grandchildren because your child had not been properly introduced to the Wal-Mart cycle of life.

So when it comes time for that talk, bring your child (or grandchild) on their 13th birthday, and show them how a 6x10 foot area of shelves is their future.

Again, I have to thank my wife for this wonderfully humorous observation. By the way, if I smell like menthol , you will know i have moved to a new stage, so try not to mention it.

June 20th 1992

2008-06-20T09:19:00.005-05:00

16.

Hard to believe, but the teen turns 16 today. The years are racing by. To state the cliche (think of an old man saying this line or a Bill Cosby type), it seems like yesterday he was just graduating from kindergarten where he regularly gave away his good toys. He had a knack for taking his newly acquired Batman action figure with deep sea diving accessories to school, and not returning with them. It would seem that he felt other kids wanted it more then he did, so he gave it to them. I don't know if this spoke to an early sensibility of generosity, or a lack of connection to material things. Either way, i suppose it can be seen as good.

(Cosby type voice again) Yeeeeees, seems like just yesterday at the age of 6 he was asking his mother to put Nightmare on Elm Street back in the VHS for him. He had a penchant for horror flicks at a very early early age. I don't know that he still gets into them. Today it is much more about things like Ninja Warrior, and Metalocalypse. I guess that is close.

(Cosby) Well, seems like yesterday we had to shake the little tyke a good four times to get him out of bed to leave in time for school. Today, its just a mere 5 or 6. I am sure that is something that has not changed. He does enjoy his sleep. Probably because he has always found a way to stay up late. When he was small, he enjoyed his small flashlights that he would use to assist reading or playing so that we wouldn't know he was up. Today his room is far enough away, that it is hard to say what and for how long he does things at night. Maybe he is engineering the next version of the Internet and is going to amaze all around him. We will see.

Even with all the turns , ups, and downs we have shared with our teen, we love him very much, and are very proud of who he has become. Here's to knocking out the rest of the awkward teen years and becoming a great individual... who becomes rich for re engineering the Internet-Ollernet. We wish him a wonderful and Happy Birthday.

16, wow...

Cramped Cranium

2008-06-18T21:23:00.002-05:00

There are certain times of the year that a feeling comes over me, and I feel a bit volatile. Its as if i can no longer manage a filter that helps keep how i truly feel in check. I usually remedy this by avoiding prolonged conversations with people, and hiding somewhere between my right lobe and the inside of my skull. My patience for people runs extremely thin, daily activities that are work related become highly annoying for its lack of creativity, and my general disposition becomes less then agreeable. I tend to have a greater sense of the mundane and ignorance around me that becomes white noise after a period of time. I so badly want to quit my subscription to "normal" life, and cut a path that is unique to my ideals.

I find these times to also be some of my greatest points of learning. Mainly about myself. I tend to be able to define my boundaries more, push my own personal expectations, and head forward into the abyss with more abandonment. It is as if i lose any sense of fear. As if "Fear" has taken a mini vacation along with "Doubt", and left me with no sense of consequence. It is something that i have started to look forward to the older i get. When you are young, consequence had little measure. The worst you could expect was a couple nights in jail. That's the worst, not that it ever reached that point. Now, with a family at hand, consequence carries a whole new meaning, and i try to handle it with as much responsibility as i can muster. As i was saying though, these strange moments creep over me like an ominous cloud cracking thunder, encouraging me to throw it to the wind... and i oblige.

So there it is, a bit of perspective. If i should offend you, upset you, not meet your expectation of me, you will know why. It is a learning experience for all of us. Just know that i am no longer comfortable sitting next to the back of my skull.

Fathers Unlocked

2008-06-15T11:37:00.003-05:00

Here it is. Fathers Day. One day a year. Just like Mothers Day, we give one day to honor the other reason for our existence. One day seems unjust, insulting, and downright mean. 1909 0r 1910 is the year that Fathers Day was put into place in America. (According to the webnet). So we have been honoring our fathers for roughly 100 years, once a year. So in actuality, we have celebrated our fathers for about 98 days. That translates to roughly three months. So. For the existence of man (roughly 200,000 years ago) we have honored and praised our Fathers for a TOTAL of what would amount to one summer break from high school... seems a little short.

Without further ado, I will jump into this blog, which is about my Father, and honoring him.

Something I remember distinctly from my childhood was my father's keys. Yes, his keys. There was something always about my father's keys that struck me odd. They were very orderly. Very neat. They seemed to go from big keys to little keys, and though i am sure this is just a touch of childhood recounting (which is a little more creative), i believe they were somewhat color coded. All silver to all gold. On top of that, my father had a piece of leather attached to his key chain. It was the color of dark chocolate, and the shape of it was that of the head of a large soup spoon. One side of it was smooth, and the other rough, as if this piece of leather was cut from a fine leather chair that had aged for centuries. As I recall, again...childhood recounting, his initials were branded into this piece of leather...EB. The interesting part about all of this is not the ornament on my father's keys, but the role this piece of leather played in its relationship with these wondrous keys. It was their "bed". Anytime my father laid these keys around the house they were always cradled by this piece of leather. I always thought it was interesting that they were never splayed out or thrown randomly somewhere, but that they seemed to always have a purpose in their position. It was at this point that i saw a connection in peoples keys, and their personality.

I have always learned a lot about people based on their keys. Some people have key chains with every key they have ever owned, displaying a real nostalgia to their life and a need to hang on. Some people don't have key chains at all (baffling) and i feel it displays the inability to commit, or to be able to bring parts of their lives together. Then there are people that have a key chain that maybe have the essentials- car, house, maybe work- and a piece of ornament like a star or some type of flair, which i feel displays a need for bare necessities, yet able to have fun or adventure and make that important. Good for these people. They are my kind of people, maybe even soul mates.

My father has always been an organized, well thought out, and caring man, much like his keys. He has taken care of his family giving them their "bed", he has kept things organized in order to always be prepared, and he is always thinking... always. The keys show a certain sternness my father has that shows belief in having a system. Systems are great, because they keep us on track. The keys could always be found in the same spot, and i believe that shows the reliability my father has always displayed. He has been there no matter what, and is always ready to listen. And much like keys open doors to possibilities, my father has always been ready to give advice to open other doors unseen in life. My father has done many great things in life, but one of the greatest was to give me my own outlook on life and how to treat my keys. Thank you Dad.

Delivery

2008-06-11T15:59:00.002-05:00

There are things in life you don't expect to hear or see. This being one of them.

I hand the person the package from home. She holds it up to the light, stares at it with a slightly eerie smile, says... "yes, this is good, yeeeeeeeeeeesss." "How old is it?" which i reply, "from today." Person says "Gooooooood, good." Shakes said package while still investigating its contents up toward the light. She pauses to look at me for a moment, looks back at the package and says "niiiiice, very nice." My reply,"okay then, I'm going to go," which she gives a quick "fine".

This transaction took over a minute, so you can assume the awkwardness in there for the time frame.

No, this transaction was not a drug deal under scrutiny by the buyer. Instead this was a nurse at the pediatrics clinic, and the package was samples of my sons stool. (He is being tested for some allergies).

People in the medical profession are really starting to freak me out.

MINE

2008-06-08T20:47:00.003-05:00

mine1

1.	a form of the possessive case of I used as a predicate adjective: The yellow sweater is mine.

2.	something that belongs to me: Mine is the red car.

"Mine". This word is the beginning of the end for civilization. I'm sure i am not casting any new light on this subject or making any great commentary that will change the world, but i will give my two cents.

My two year old daughter has firmly grasped the intensity and meaning of this word. She probably on average uses it close to 300 times a day. You would think that to be a gross exaggeration, but it is not. Everything she wants, is "mine". Everything she has, is "mine". Everything any one else has, is "mine". This word has empowered her so much that she even feels that it is a good idea to take the things that others have. Especially things from her one year old brother.

The chant of "mine, mine, mine, mine" is so great, that the one year old has already begun to give his version. "Mahn". Sure, there is a small piece of me holding hope that he is slightly Rastafarian, but i am realistic. He has begun to grab and snatch with as much vigor and envy as his older sister, and God forbid if they eye the same thing at the same time. A toddler battle ensues.

Screams, squawks, shoving, scratching, and the occasional biting. It is like a bugs bunny cartoon when they fight. Just a cloud of smoke with arms and legs flying. In some ways it is cute and at the same time horrific.

I'm sure that most would blame parents for the "mines", but i know that we work diligently not to support this point of view. Kids will be kids, and when they are exposed to other kids, they will find their "mines".

Unfortunately we carry this attitude to our adulthood. I believe that is what makes most of our life the struggle it is. We have to continually keep achieving our "mines". We are constantly on our quest for what is to be "mine". "Mine" can be the car, house, career, the last donut at caribou that the person in front of you takes, only to become someone else's "mine".

This "mine" is evil. If there was a way to dissolve the "mines" and develop a stronger "ours" we would be a lot better off. I'm not talking a bunch of hippie crap either (forgive me if i offend any hippie readers, but I'm sure your appreciating this anyway). If we could find a deeper side in ourselves to share our needs and give before taking, i believe we would find a lot more piece and tolerance in people and our lives.

So there it is. One to grow on.

I have to cut this short, i think the teen is eating the last ice cream cone sundae, and its MINE.

Minnawaii

2008-06-07T14:48:00.005-05:00

I love summer. Now that it is here, i feel better. I know, some of you are thinking rain and tornadoes do not constitute summer, but when you live with 6 months of snow, it does. It reminds me of when I use to live on Oahu. Those were great years of sun year round, with the occasional rainy months, but even then, the sun would show up for a couple hours in the day. Rain was never and issue there, if anything it was welcomed... unlike here.

The bad thing about rain in Minnesota during the summer is the loss of motor skills people experience. I mean that literally. People wrestle with common sense when they are handling a car in rain, and worse yet, hail. Example... my wife and I were driving to her work on I-394 when it started to rain, and soon small bits of hail came as well. That's when the white knuckling started. Everyone starts to hit the brakes at random times, and i don't mean gently, i mean full on slam, FOR NO REASON. Merging was no longer an option for those already on the interstate. If its raining, YOUR NOT ALLOWED ON! I could not understand these people. It was starting to stress me out, mainly because Karen was late getting to work and so she was doing some NASCAR driving of her own. Then it happened. People started slamming on their brakes to stop. I thought it must have been a terrible accident from the awesome defensive driving everyone was doing. No, no it wasn't. It was the most unbelievable display if ignorance i have seen in a while. People had stopped ON the interstate under an overpass because of the pea sized hail. ON the interstate. And the reason they stopped was because they had expensive cars. Really, REALLY? Because you own an expensive car, that gives you the right to come to a dead stop ON the interstate to protect YOUR car over anybody else. Never mind that there are hundreds of cars behind you coming at 60 miles per hour (or more). Never mind there are Others with expensive cars behind you. Never mind that the welfare of others are at hand. At least you know you will not be making an insurance claim on this day. As if that wasn't bad enough, the thing that really capped it for me was that there was more then one person that decided this was a good idea. On a three lane interstate (five including the shoulders) there were a total of about ten individuals, or more if there were passengers, that came to the conclusion that this was feasible and legal. U-N-R-E-A-L. These PEOPLE, who are clearly a waste of good skin, are still out there with their licenses, so be warned. Rain+Minnesotans= anarchy driving.

So there it is. If you are not from here, and you want to visit in the summer, your biggest fear is going to be driving in the rain on the Interstate. Other then that... its a lot like Hawaii. Sort of.

Paul Sills

2008-06-03T16:59:00.003-05:00

Some of you may know, and a lot of you may not, but Paul Sills died yesterday at the age of 80. He was the the legendary improvisational director and teacher who co-founded the Compass Players in Chicago and was the founding director of Chicago's Second City. He guided many of the famous performers that people know today such as Alan Arkin, Mike Meyers, Chris Farley, and more. He is considered a guru of improvisation. LA TIMES ARTICLE.

I never had the opportunity to work with him, although it would have been an honor. The man is a legend and inspiration to directors, coaches, and performers in the world of improvisational theater.

Here is to you Paul. You may be gone, but your work will be remembered forever.

Cheers to the Teen

2008-05-30T19:14:00.002-05:00

Teenagers. They have their unique way about them.

In the scheme of things, I have to say that i have a pretty good teenager on my hands. He doesn't do illegal activities (that i know of), illegal drugs (that i know of), or everything that is asked of him (that... i know). Therefore, this makes him a good teenager in two ways. By either just being good in my perspective, or being good in that he is so extremely clever, that he can hide the bad from me. I don't think that's the case, but i am willing to realize that for every new generation, they find a new way.

My major frustration with my teenager is one that haunts many parents. That is self responsibility. I know that teens have a lot on their mind. Video games, eating, sleep, cell phones, hair in new places, the possibility of sex. I am sure all of this and more keeps them bogged down. So bogged down, that the tasks asked of them seem to be annoying and burdensome. Some examples... clean room, good grades, general upkeep and hygiene. I know, its a huge list that is daunting. Don't get me wrong, i am sure that i had issues with these things when i was a teen... wait, no, no i didn't. But then i probably wasn't a normal teen. Having grown up in the military, i believe clean room, good grades and hygiene were always a main goal and expectation... at the age of 6.

My teen enjoys circles. Its nothing he has ever declared, but i am sure that it must be something he takes great pride in, because we find ourselves going in them on a regular basis. "____ your _____ please" is a common phrase in the house. Example- clean your room please...work on your homework please... pick up your clothes please... put away your dishes please... pick up your dog poop please... and so on. I hear these phrases so much that i feel like i am using a mental Spirograph. At times i think that this is just the normality of raising a teenager, but at other times, I think something is seriously wrong with him. The reason i think this is because he has been given an easy formula. Do these minimal things without being asked and you will get what you want. How hard can that be? How hard can it be to make this important to your existence if it makes things good? Apparently very hard.

I don't like the idea that he gets grounded or loses his phone privileges, because it usually makes it more difficult for us, the parents. Problem is, these things get his attention and that is always a challenge when it comes to teens. Holding their attention. I feel like i give him a lot of room and fairness when it comes to these expectations, but as my father use to say "give him an inch, and he takes a foot". I think there is something to that. I believe that it is the job of a teen to push their boundaries, be angry at the obvious, and feel their parents are uncool( no matter how cool they really are. I blog for crying out loud, that's cool). I just hope that with the big 16 coming up, that something in the aging process helps even him out. I know this can not be some kind of genetic laziness, that there has to be something in there that wants to feel a high level of self worth.

Summer is around the corner, and i would much rather have him enjoying it then having to spend the majority of it at home. Lets hope he can pull it together and meet the expectations put upon him. I don't know if he realizes how much we love him and appreciate him, but then most teens don't. In his eyes, were the bad guys, not loving parents trying to guide him into a great man. So lets raise our glasses and put a toast to a unique teen who is pretty good, with some focus problems, so that he may have a great summer... and in turn, so will I.

Black Ominous Cloud

2008-05-29T07:18:00.004-05:00

Soooo tired.

I don't know that I would ever wish to go back to my college days, but the one thing I would really enjoy having back is the ability to stay up all night and not feeling like a truck full of tar hit me the next morning. Add stress to the mix and it is a truck with tar and concrete. Ugh.

The past handful of days have been less then...desirable. My black cloud that is tethered to me is showing no sign of moving on to reveal the sun.

Word came back on the KIA. Its dead, gone, shot, finito. Turns out the timing belt broke, causing the engine to basically destroy itself. I guess in the fine print of the warranty, you are suppose to have the timing belt "checked" before 60,000 miles. If you don't, you void your warranty and you end up with a collection of parts. Upon research in Google, there have been many, many cases of this happening. I cant believe someone hasn't put a class action lawsuit together on this. I mean, they are basically saying that their timing belt will break before or near 60,000 miles. What car company knows that they are going to have car issues, and then stiffs you on covering that issue if you so much as get your oil changed somewhere other then a KIA dealership??????? What a bunch of crap. Maybe this is the next Fox 9 News Investigative Report?? Someone want to make that call?

On other cloudy driven news. I was up for a job that I went through three interviews for. I felt pretty solid about it, but as it turns out, my instincts are lying to me. Apparently there is another candidate out there that must be more witty then me. Bye bye benefits and the security of a non-temp job.

Moving forward. Creditors are starting to close in for the kill like vultures, and it seems like I am getting fines from the city of MNPLS left and right on our other properties. Come on people, the body isn't even cold yet.

On top of that, it feels like i can not relate to the people i care about and love because of all of this strife. It just feels like it is either the topic at hand or standing in the way of genuine communication or even something that is just more important. I want to extend an apology to anyone this is affecting. Hopefully it will see an upswing at some point, and we can relate once again on a healthy level.

Now is about the time you hope that a witness protection agent walks into your life, tells you that you have to take your family and move to a beautiful island in the pacific and live under a different name. Your finances will be taken care of, and by the way, you will be running the only improvisation theater that provides massages on the island, and it makes buckets and buckets of bananas. (this island does not have a formal currency yet) That will work.

Waiting... and no agent. Okay, back to the Black Cloud.

Need AIR

2008-05-25T12:57:00.004-05:00

Busy week. So here it is.
Monday started out stressful, as it was suppose to be the last day of my temp job with Wells Fargo. At the last minute we were told we would be moved to another dept. Much relief, as the stress started rising of a possible lack of employment for another unknown period of time. I am still trying avidly to get back to design, but it is slow going when you give 8 hours of your day to WF and then have children to come home to. I will just keep plugging and hope that things take for the right turn. Anyway, the week has been full of training for the new dept.

Monday was also a great game of softball with the Skirt Turtles, and a foot race that was inspiring. I have to mention that the support we got from Owen and Aidan was awesome. Thanks boys. It inspired me to get a skinned knee, two hits, and third place(foot race).

The money situation is still as bad as ever, so the hunt for a second job has begun. I'm speaking of Karen of course, as i have the part time job of improv. I know it isn't what she wanted to stack on an already difficult schedule, but we are finding it necessary. Hopefully her current job can get back to more regular clients so that she dosen't have to have the second job for long. Massages have taken a turn for the worst, as we are in this "non-recession".

The week also had me visiting with the neurologist who after a grumpy morning had me for a patient. She seemed to be upset that i couldn't take the earlier appointment in the week and was being short with me. I'm sorry i couldn't accommodate your well paid position time frame, and that being i was the patient, i couldn't possibly have something more important to do. Anyway, nothing was found, and so i have been set back in the pasture to continue my existence.

The kicker for that morning I had my appointment, was that the KIA took a crap. I was halfway down the block when i was going to second gear, and then it happened. It sounded like I ran over a can of soda and then... nothing. It was dead. Best i could figure, either the clutch or the transmission decided to give up. It got towed, so we will find out soon. Thanks to the ten year warranty KIA offers, this situation may not be as bad as expected. Oh sweet KIA, may the car gods go easy on your diagnosis.

Date night was at the movies with Indiana Jones. All i can say is ugh. What a disappointment. That many years, and that is what they came up with. And I am being generous.

Lots of improv this week. Six Ring went great with a huge turn out. SR's shows were mixed in with the AA convention. That meant the performers had a seven mile walk to the cabaret. Good stuff though, and a strong performance by The Outtakes.

This was a truly boring blog. I promise to have more opinion later.

Quickie

2008-05-23T18:06:00.002-05:00

Just in case anyone was keeping score, i visited with the neurologist today. They found all my tests to be normal, and found nothing of concern. At this point, i am considered "healthy for my age". I wasn't sure how to take that, but the good news out weighed the awkward comment.

Carry on.

Hommage

2008-05-22T19:36:00.003-05:00

Well, it is here. Indiana Jones makes his return. Everyone is talking about, and they should be. I remember seeing the first film in the theater when i was a kid and being mesmerized by it. I thought Harrison Ford was a god. First came Han Solo, next was Indiana Jones, and then Rick Deckard(Blade Runner). Could one man exude so much coolness in so many characters? Clearly that answer is yes. ( I know, I know, Hollywood Homicide-he is human, he is allowed one mistake.) And I wanted to be that man. Suave, aloof, thrill seeking, worldly(or spacely), awkward around women, and just plain cool. Well, I think i managed awkwardness.

So here it is, movie number four in the series. Twenty years later. Lets see if the coolness holds, and if so, maybe i still have a chance.

Here's to you Harrison. I don't know how you do it, but I'm sure it has something to do with the quote... "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go." Cue music. Don da donnn da....

E.R.II and the Kingdom of the Crystal MRI

2008-05-19T07:41:00.006-05:00

Well its finally here. You have waited patiently wondering if there would be a part II to E.R.( if you are wondering what I am referring to, see post back in March- E.R. (EVENTUALLY you get a ROOM)), and your patience has paid off.

You will be happy to know, that it was not my wife that had to return to the glorious wonder known as Southdale Emergency Room, but myself. I will give you a little bit of history of the week that led up to me having to attend the E.R. On Wednesday morning, just after arriving to my wonderful place of employment of Wells Fargo(...trying to hang on to my work...), I began to feel numbness and tingling on the left side of my face and in my left hand. I didn't think much of it, but it did not go away. After making a small mention of it on a blog, I heard from family and friends on Thursday, as i knew i would. The feeling had subsided in my face, but my hand still had some numbness as well as part of my left foot. I let everyone know that I would look in to it. So... I left it up to my wife. I said that if she wanted to make me an appointment. I would go, but that would be it. So... she called the doctors office on Friday, and they advised that I go to the ER immediately. Supposedly numbness can be bad. Yes, I do know the possibilities. I spent some time on Webmd, and i realized the potential for badness here. But... I have a philosophy, and that is this. If you don't go to the doctor, they cant find anything wrong with you, and if there is nothing wrong with you, why go to the doctor. Now, I know this really drums up an issue with preventative medicine, and in some arguments, common sense, but this philosophy has not failed me yet. None the less, i took the advice and headed for the E.R.(dramatic orchestra strikes up here)

And so it begins...

2:15pm
I advise my boss that i have to head to the ER because i have been having some issues with numbness. I don't think i have mentioned before, but i work in a sea of cubes, which is important to note for this next visual. As soon as i let my boss know about this issue, on cue, all the gophers started popping over the cube walls, chittering and chattering of the possibilities. The privacy you can get from three foamed walls that are five foot high is incredible. Anyway, he recommends I leave as well, so I do.

2:28pm
It is a gorgeous sunny day out on Friday, and i know that i am about to spend the rest of my day in a hospital. It took all of my energy and self control not to keep driving past the hospital and play hookie the rest of the day. I pulled in and the parking lot was not to bad, could this be a good sign?? Didn't get my hopes up.

2:45pm
Walked into the lobby and I was so excited to see there were only two other people waiting. A middle aged woman who apparently was deaf or arrogant, because she wanted everyone in the lobby to know what her cell phone conversation was about. The other looked like a homeless man who was actually there to catch some TV and a nap. I thought my odds of this being a short trip was good. I gave the woman at the desk my information and my symptoms. She gave me a funny look when i told her i had been experiencing it for a few days. Again, I have a philosophy. I asked the woman if there was much of a wait or if it was slow in back. She gave a scoff and said they were full. The sinking feeling of a beautiful day wasted kicked in.

2:52pm
I sat down in the lobby, and there was no great reading material. I was hoping to find the same magazine as last time (interview with George Clooney) as ever since i wrote the last blog, i have been haunted with what i might have missed in that article. The things i could have learned (sarcasm). I guess i should mention that i don't have a beef with George Clooney, as a matter of fact, i like his character on E.R. I should watch that show again. Whoa... here i am about to complain about the time i have lost in the E.R., but then i am contemplating wasting an hour a week on a show base on an E.R. How ironic. Worth it though to see Mr. Clooney... is he even still on that show?

3:01pm
The nurse calls me back to their interview room. We go through the usual general info on me, i have no allergies, i don't abuse substances, and i don't have a regular doctor(funny look from nurse)... I have a philosophy. After all that, i get a name tag slapped on my wrist and am guided to a room in the back.

3:12pm
We get to my nook, and the nurse informs me that i have to get undressed and put on a gown. I ask if that is absolutely necessary. Apparently he thought so. So, i comply. I change into the fashionable gown and prop myself up on the bed and get ready for a long nap, cause i have done this before. Nap idea spoiled.

3:17
My neighbors to the left decide that everyone needs to be in on their conversation. It was two men, one from Fargo, ND, and one from Mille Lacs, MN. What ever your thinking right now, your right. They had their typical tattoos, semi mullets, and MN accents. Apparently, they were at Home Depot buying some gutter products, when one of them took a piece of medal in the shin. They decided it would be funny to make a video with their new cell phone with regards to the event. " Hey there Home Depot lawyers, were coming for your asses. This is Jed and Cletus(names changed for the ignorant), and we know that you are in deep shit for what has happened to me". Loud, obnoxious laughs follow. I should note here, there are multiple signs everywhere stating that cell phones should be turned off while in the ER, no exceptions. "Were probably pissing everyone off with our phones being on. All these patients are probably going to complain. What a bunch of f******." More loud laughs. Their insightfulness was not lost on them. Dr. finally comes to them and begins to sew the gash up. A lot more ignorant things come out of the mouths of these gentlemen, and the Dr. does well with his patience. I had plans to let you in on more, but it could be its own blog, but then who wants to read about the daily experiences of Jed and Cletus.

3:31 pm
Nurse comes and takes some more of my info and has me sign papers. In case i die on their time, they know who to call. A second nurse comes in and sticks about six wires to my chest, blood pressure pump, and a clamp on my finger, for vitals. Yeah, I feel like the real deal at this point.

3:40pm
The Dr. visits the couple on my right. The Dr asks his patient what seems to be the problem, and her response is... " I seem to be having my period out of my butt." Yeaaaa for unnecessary visual. It seems she is having a regular, light colored-not dark, blood flow out of her rectal area. A colonoscopy is ordered. A nurse is attempting an IV on the woman at that moment which causes her male partner to declare" I cant watch this, i am going to sweat really bad". Apparently he must have forgot his deodorant that morning. Nice support. Nurse tells him to leave, because she doesn't have any beds available for him if he goes down. Ahhhh, bedside manner.

3:46
Dr comes in and reviews all my information again. Makes some speculation, but then says he wants to order some things. Those things being an EKG, MRI, and a BLT. Acronyms can be funny. He also wanted about two gallons of blood for multiple tests. Fair enough, let the good times begin.

3:52
Nurse comes in to put the IV in and to take fill in a questionnaire. IV goes fine. Turns out that my nurse just bought a 1992 Porsche 994 from Michigan. "Never seen rain." I happened to notice the Rolex on her wrist that she uses to take blood pressure. I think Nurses are making more money then i previously thought. Made a note to maybe make a career shift.
Then the questionnaire began. I was instructed to not say anything unless I have one of the following items on the list. " Just say yes if you have it, nothing else". It starts out with the usual. Diabetes, heart murmur, etc. Apparently there are about 50 of these items to get through, and my nurse has picked a very quick speed to recite them. So fast that she asks me if I have had an IUD. "Oops. You probably don't have that." I laughed so hard, no I probably don't.
Then she starts cruising through them and gets to penile implant which she takes a long pause on. I said no, even though i was only suppose to say yes for a response, but i thought her pause wanted an answer. She then said " you would be surprised how many people make me back up on that one, so i just pause on it now." Wow, apparently penile implants are a lot more popular then we realize. I wonder why you don't hear much about that. I wonder.
After that, i begin to nod off, as there is no real excitement going on.

4:08
EKG time. I am thinking this is going to take a bit. Nope. Eight wires get connected, two minutes pass, and eight wires get disconnected. Done.
Back to sleep maybe.

4:22
I am abruptly woken up with a curtain being thrown back, and a gruff older woman saying "time to move". MRI time. There is something strange about being wheeled around in your bed. You feel so vulnerable, and when you pass people in the hall, you know they are judging you for your ailment. Whats he got? Something broken, cancer, something stuck where it shouldn't be? Its undignified.

4:30
"Please remove all your jewelry. ALL of your jewelry including anything that we cant see." Done. Its like she knew just looking at me.

4:36
I climb on to the table of the MRI machine. If you have never had this done, you really are missing out. First they lock your head in this device and shove towels around it, so there is absolutely no way it can move. They ask if your claustrophobic, and if your not, you will be. They put some ear plugs in your ears and plug something into your IV and send you on your way. They advise that i will be in there for about an hour and not to move at all. They give you a ball to squeeze if you need to cough or sneeze. And then it begins. Everything sounds and feels like you are in an underwater coffin. So what to do? I know, I will do some limericks. I believe I did well over 200 hundred limericks, and almost fell asleep once. I came to with a jerk, and the nurse came over the little intercom and told me to lay still. Thanks for the scold. When you get an MRI, it makes your vital organs vibrate. Truly bizarre.

5:35
MRI complete. I get up and transfer to my bed of transport, and proceed to wait for my driver.

5:41
Driver appears and wheels me back to my nook. All other patients are gone. Now its just a wait for the results kind of deal, and I do. I took in a couple of calls made by nurses fighting with significant others, doctors flirting with nurses, nurses being snide with other nurses, nurse bragging about her Porsche 944 "never seen rain", and one lost patient looking for his bed. I think he lapped the ER twice before someone offered him some help.

6:20
Dr comes in with results. EKG -good, blood work- good, MRI-good(but wants to hear back from neurologist before he lets me go), BLT-hasn't shown up yet. Okay. Well. I have a philosophy.
I ask if i can get dressed. He says no, and that he wants to hear from the neuro first. I wait.

6:26
Talk to the neuro, and it looks good. He recommends that i make an appointment with a neuro this week to go over my results and to see if there is any other tests they want to run, but at this point, everything is good. He wants me to take an aspirin, and at least one a day till i see the neuro. He will get my nurse to give me paperwork, pill, and discharge me. I may get dressed. I do. And then i wait.

6:35
I finally go to the nurses station and ask if i can have the IV taken out. They will check.

6:38
IV removed. Paperwork brought in. Things signed. Pill taken. I head out. Time frame not so bad.

$6 copay, $6 parking, 4 hours in the ER. One aspirin.

Like i have said before. I HAVE A PHILOSOPHY.

ER 2 is coming...

2008-05-16T18:39:00.000-05:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Numbing Puppies on the Corner

2008-05-15T07:37:00.000-05:00

Have you ever tried making a chicken salad sandwich while trying to navigate through a mine field of puppy poop and pee?? Then you haven't lived. That was my morning challenge.
We are currently fostering three puppies for the humane society. They are lab/German Shepard mix. Two males, one female, and a whole lot of adorable. Not only was I trying to gracefully choreograph a ballet through my kitchen this morning, but i was having to fight off said three puppies and their glass like teeth. They have a real knack for wanting to discover what you are hiding in your socks, and the only way they can express that is to bite into them. Adorable. Bloody toes. Still adorable. You try to scold them, but the sweetness of the puppy breath catches you, and you are reduced to a puddle. Go on adorables, chew till my feet are bloody stumps.

If your keeping track, there is probably only two more days until my temp job is over. Nothing else on the horizon currently. This is bad. I think it is time that I find my corner of the highway and invest in a piece of cardboard and a sharpie. I know that i don't want to be your average homeless person, asking for a handout. How can I stand out from the rest? How can I market myself above the rest? ow can I find a way to raise my profits above the rest? Maybe I will have to hire a marketing/advertising firm to help me promote my begging so that I can become the best street person possible and eventually franchise. There is a lot to consider here. If anything, maybe it is a funny sketch.

Have you ever felt numb? I mean literally. Have you ever felt numbness in your hand or your face and part of your foot at the same time? Did you go to a doctor? What did they tell you it was? Did they say it was bad? Something that should be worried about?( I know these questions are going to prompt some phone calls from family members) If you have any answers to these questions, feel free to let me know, as I tend to avoid the doctor. Any general advise would be welcome as well.

Improv this weekend- I have no shows personally, but there is much to see. Stevie Ray's 8pm-Fri-Sat- $15---------Improv a Go Go(6 year anniversary) $1- 8pm Go early if you want a seat.

To The Ladies

2008-05-11T08:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Mothers Day

I am more then sure almost all mothers deserve a tip of the hat for the mere fact that they are mothers, and they have endured motherhood, but there are two women that deserve it most. Yes, obviously my wife and my mother.

My wife- because she endures the crazy life that is ours to endure. We have three wonderful children that challenge us everyday, which she rises to the occasion without hesitance. I know that no matter what happens in our daily life, no matter how difficult it gets for us, she will do what it takes to take care of her kids. I know that she has done what it takes to survive in her past and will do so in the future and it will all be for her kids. The babies light up with excitement when mommy shows up because she deserves that excitement. She showers her love on them immediately because nothing else is as important then that moment. When the teen needs something, she works hard to get it for him, even if he doesn't realize it. She is the first to stand up for him for what he needs in all aspects of his life, and it is more then admirable. I have always been impressed, from the first time we started dating, with her drive, determination, and selflessness when it comes to her children. It is truly a day like today that was made for her. In all honesty there should be a day dedicated to her alone. Maybe I will start lobbying for that.

My mother- She is has the heart of a true angel. My mother has defined the word "giving". I have never met another person, (and this is not being said because it is Mothers Day), that has been so loving, caring, concerned, sympathetic, honest, and GIVING. My mother has everyones needs at heart well before her own. She is constantly working at maintaining relationships and praying for the safety and well being for others, and many of them she doesn't know personally. Truly, many of my friends and colleagues can thank my mothers unbiased prayers for helping you get through many of your trials and tribulations. So with that i ask you to praise your mother today, and to also include my mother in that as well, because more then likely she has touched your life without you even knowing. Thank you mom for all the love you have brought upon me. I believe it has made me a better man, and has helped me to love my wife and mother of my children with a better understanding of motherhood.

Happy Mothers Day.

Recap

2008-05-09T10:27:00.000-05:00

Wow- A week.
Kind of a tough one.
The week started with a great game of softball, even if we did lose. We showed some great heart, and nearly had the game, but the bottom of the 6th inning was brutal. We lost. Not to mention i pulled a muscle in my leg that would make part of my week grumpy. My lovely wife was running to home plate when the short stop from the other team beamed her in the back with the ball. She too has had a bruised week because of it. Both of us injured, but had a lot of fun doing it. Cant wait until we can get to another game.

The job front got ugly fast. I am fairly certain that I only have about a week left at my current temp job. Not a good time to be unstable, of course, when is it ever. I have started slinging my resume at anything that looks remotely in the vein of what i can do, unfortunately no calls yet. Just a couple of rejection emails. Did I mention how much I am not enjoying being in the mortgage industry. I have tried to get my graphic design resume out as well, and definitely no luck there. I believe that employers don't want to take a chance on someone that has not been in a formal office for almost ten years, even though i have continued to do freelance work in that period of time. I'm sure they would rather pick up a fresh face out of college who is up to speed on all software and is really cheap. Never mind the fact that they don't know how to talk to the client or use years of experience to get to the essence of a project and use their time wisely. Can you hear the bitterness??

I would love it if i could go back to school, just to get a little time with newer programs and build the portfolio back up in a more timely fashion. Ahh to dream.

Home front suffers as well this week, just due to the stress. The teens grades are slipping so that means the cell had to go on hiatus. I know hes not happy, but he knows what it takes to get it back. Had a one on one, that seemed to go relatively well. I guess i will know better in a week or so after he gets a chance to prove whether or not "responsibility" is his cup of tea. I can remember having those kinds of chats with my dad when i was young and how after a while they seemed to be a lecture ( therefore it became lost on my young , underdeveloped,... all i want to do is have fun brain.) I want to split that difference with the teen, because i believe he deserves to have the youth experience of fun, but definitely needs a reasonable introduction to self worth and responsibility. Its a strange balance that you hope they can grasp on their own at times. I'm pretty sure hormones and a lack of life experience pushes responsibility out the window, therefore causing him to run circles... am i lecturing?

Good news is the little ones aren't dealing with a cold or pink eye!! The baby is just dealing with a diaper rash dealt from the devil himself. Poor kid. As soon as the diaper comes off, he attempts to do his best at scratching. If you have had a 14 month old, you know how funny it looks when they try to scratch, but don't quite have the motor skills to manage. It looks a lot like people trying to rub their stomach and pat their heads for the first time. I feel bad for him, yet still have to giggle. Hopefully we can get this mysterious rash to move on. We are going on several months with it. Suggestions welcome, but be warned, we have been through many a remedy to try and figure it out. The toddler is just dealing with her jealousy of the baby. Its up and down.

The wife is working hard at keeping the babies from killing each other. With the nation in its "non-recession", her day job has been slow. Again, something we don't need. I know it has been weighing on her as well. People don't seem to want to get the massages in a time when they probably need them most.

Improv this week. Auditions for Six Ring went well. Not a lot of bartering for players this round which was awesome. Some times it tends to get to us. Look out for the next quarter, as everyone goes back in the hat. AWESOME. We have a few more players on CSGG, and I think they will be a great addition. It is going to be a cool quarter. Come check it out Tuesdays, Brave New Workshop, $1.
Tonight and tomorrow I will be at Stevie Ray's Cabaret. Come check it out. $15, 8pm.

That is the week. I know, kind of on the down side...

at least winter is done. I hope.

2008-05-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sneaky------- Punch Out

2008-05-02T09:27:00.001-05:00

When your not looking, the lack of intelligence of the common people will sneak up on you, and rattle your world.
Driving to work this morning i was able to have the privilege of dealing with bad, rage filled drivers. Minnesota, why is it a challenge?? Why does merging cause brain hemorrhaging? Why does the right of way for Public Transportation raise the NASCAR enthusiast out of you? Why does a KIA with its blinker on for three blocks, not deserve to change lanes?(Yes, I know its a BMW, but it is still a BMW whether I am in front of you, or behind you)
The Fed cut the rate. I am aware of this. I know what this means. The problem is, 90% of the people who are making inbound calls to my place of work(mortgage industry) do not. Which would explain why the housing industry is where it is. Just because the fed cuts the rate by a quarter of a point, does not mean that you get a quarter point off your interest rate. Seriously people, get educated about the largest purchase you will ever make. Get familiar with the LIBOR. Ugh.
I wanted breakfast after a morning of my patience being tested.(I believe I passed). I just wanted an egg and toast. "How you want egg?" to which i replied "Over hard." "You want hard inside?" to which i replied "Yes, over hard." "You want broken, or flipped over?" to which i replied "AGAIN, O-V-E-R H-A-R-D and up your non-listening, take myself way to serious as a minimum wage chef, ASS." I don't think he heard the latter.

Side note- The family is sick. Poor wife and kids have running noses, but their spirits are good. Nothing like babies who run up to you and hug you and then when they walk away it looks like a team of snails attacked your clothing. Sweet baby snot. I love having children, they make fashion unique. Hopefully they are all on the upswing.

Side side note-- Punch Out tonight at the Brave New Workshop. 11pm. $10 Larynx(Myself, Dave, and Josh) VS The Unstoppables.

C O F F E E

2008-04-29T09:42:00.000-05:00

(This post is to be read very fast.)

Jason had coffee this morning. Jason doesn't normally drink coffee, ever. Jason's heart is pounding. Jason's head is tingling. Jason feels weird. Jason has gotten through his work twice already. Jason might go for a quick jog around the Wells Fargo Home Mortgage campus. Jason has a lot of thoughts running through his head at once. Jason just painted a picture in his brain. Jason is pretty sure he has split personalities. Jason wonders if there is a lot of room in the parallel of parallel worlds. Jason wonders what he would look like if he were Latino. Hola, Hola, HolaHola, Hola, Hola,Hola, Hola, Hola,Hola, Hola, Hola,Hola, Hola, Hola,Hola, Hola, Hola,Hola, Hola, Hola,Hola, Hola, Hola Senor. Jason...

Cartoons-Improv-Strawberries

2008-04-26T13:06:00.001-05:00

Jeff came home with a really good report card this quarter, so we hooked him up with a nice reward, we have allowed him to go to Zenprov. I think it was a nice surprise for him. I had to give up my spot to allow him to go, but it was worth it, he deserved it. Its cool that he enjoys doing it. He will just have to tell me everything that goes on. Well see if it gives him some center.
Jessie and I have been enjoying the new Amy Poehler cartoon. Its pretty cute, and she seems to be digging it pretty good.
Logan just made a little house out of a book.
It would seem all my kids are into improv of different sorts. Ah, a proud moment for the papa. Excuse me while I wipe away this tear of joy and actualization.

The head cold seems to be behind me, so lets see if we can make this a productive week. Much too be done in the yard, house, paperwork, and head. I started climbing the mountain the other day, so it feels good to have purpose and can only hope that a peak is not so far off.

Karen cuts awesome strawberries. I'm sharing this because its the little things.

Also, Karen and I got caught up on some of recorded shows. We watched The Riches last night. Great show starring Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver. The first season was awesome, second season, little slow, but still watchable. One show left for the season. Its great to watch Eddie Izzard (executive producer) influence the show, transvestites seem to keep popping up. Its actually a great complicated, layered, and character driven show. Watch it.

Snowing again- nuff said.

Action

2008-04-24T11:48:00.001-05:00

My life has felt a little chaotic since the housing market has taken a nose dive, and when i say nose dive, I mean crashed into a wall of metal and brick and twisted itself into something unrecognizable, and still managed to catch fire and burn to dust. And even after that, managed to take out some of the wildlife surrounding it due to that ash. (bitter?)
Anyway, i have been very hesitant to take on the problems it has caused me since it started, but it has reached that point where I am in the corner and having to go tooth and nail to get my self free. Prepare to have my wrath debtors. I shall go down in the flames of this wreckage and rise again like the phoenix.
On a side note. Wells Fargo is very passive aggressive about their banking. I had a checking and savings account that went sour due to some wierd circumstances(long story), and ended up pulling my accounts to another bank. Needless to say, i had about $25 in each account. After WF absorbed it through their fees of terror, my accounts disappeared. I logged onto my account, only to find they were deleted. No notice via email or snail mail. Bravo WF, walk out in silence, it is only fitting.
So back to my pressing future. I am going to have a long hard sit at the work desk at home in the next couple days and get my life financially back in motion.
Lets all hope for a better future financially.
P.S. Anyone want to buy some stuff??

Pink Eye

2008-04-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is pink eye. Logan went to the hospital yesterday, and the doctor confirmed it. Poor kid looks like he has green worms coming out of the corners of his eyes. He doesn't seem to be bothered by it much. The only thing that seems to bum him out is when dad comes with the medicine. I have to lay him on the floor and pin his arms down with my legs so that I can attempt to get drops in his eyes while he shakes vigorously. It is like Ultimate fighting, except that I am six times his weight, and i have a weapon, and there is no cage, and I start off with a pin. I guess it isn't like Ultimate fighting at all. Oh well. None the less, after we are done, he looks like he just got done fighting a war. He dishes me one of his famous glares through tears when we finish. Breaks my heart, but the beat down had to happen.

Speaking of beat down. Karen and I attended Punch Out last night and watched Adorable face off against Drum Machine. I thought they both brought some game, but Drum Machine prevailed. Was fun to get out with Karen... for two nights in a row. That's right, two nights in a row we saw the night life, and no children in sight. The night before, we went to the movie In Bruges. A very funny, dark, and inappropriate film. Both nights were fun and it was great to reconnect with my wife some.

Its time to put on my Handyman hat and tackle some jobs around the twin cities, so without further ado, I am off to save an old door by installing a new handle.
Apparently I am being called into round two of ultimate fighting. IT IS ON TODDLER!

DING! DING!

Children

2008-04-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

The morning started with watching the Backyardigans with Jessie. Three episodes back to back. It is tough to absorb their singing at 7 am on Sunday. It messes with you some. She loves it, so it is worth it, especially when she stands up and starts singing and dancing along. It is funny to watch a two year old trying to choreograph the Charleston that early in the morning.
Logan woke up in a good mood, babbling like crazy. He found a new sound to make (chuh), and was practicing nonstop. He was being his adorable cuddly self.
Sunday morning is the best time of the week, because I don't have to run off to work. I get to enjoy the kids at their best mood of the day. We play, they get fed, and just generally get to know each other again.
Karen gets to sleep in a little bit, so I know this must also be her favorite day of the week.
Jeff pops up out of his burrow around 10:30. Oh, to be a teen again.
It is about this time the SpongeBob SquarePants marathon starts. I think Bikini Bottom would make for a great vacation spot. I would love to have a Crabby Patty for lunch.
The relaxed morning starts to wear off at this point, and the to do list starts to emerge. Cleaning, fixing things, going through a list of things that need done for the week, organizing, so much. On top of that, nap times, lunches, taxi service, playtime. And then somewhere in there, try to figure out something really nice to do for my wife.
Fun filled Sunday.
Not to mention, LARYNX performs tonight at IMPROV A GO GO. Look out world. I am armed with an arsenal of cartoon references and domestic chores. My space work should be interesting.

Feel My Brain

2008-04-09T23:15:00.000-05:00

Well, this day has finally reached the end. I am about to go lay my head on my very lonely pillow.
I'm exhausted because there always seems to be something I am having to catch up on, therefore I am never caught up. It seems the little things are always distracting from the bigger things.
I had made a decision in my head that I would spend this evening working on things to get my Financings under way (that's right, the housing market has run me through its roller coaster ride of terror, and the only way off is to crash and burn), but it was the little things that side tracked me from accomplishing this. Those little things are pipes. For some reason, the pipes in my house decided to have a meeting about how they would screw with my life, and the easiest way for them to do that would be to start leaking. I had a pipe in the basement and the trap under the kitchen sink crack. So, I got to go to Home Depot ( my home away from home- something about that piercing orange makes me happy) and shop for parts, and boy did i find parts. I was introduced to a fitting known as a shark. It allows you to connect pipe without soldering. That's right, without soldering. SWEET! Needless to say, it cut the fixing time by half. Pipes zero, Jason one.
Then I moved on to a chore I have been putting off, and that is getting some much needed thank you cards out to places that have given design employment. Sounds easy... but not when your printer decides it is time for you to read the manual you ignored when you bought it. It just freaked out on me. So, with much crash course studying, I made it work. Not after losing about an extra 45 minutes. Printer one, Jason zero.
I decided that i would go ahead and try to get my DVD of the one man play i performed - The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron?-put together to go out to Robert Dubac, as he has been waiting patiently for it for a while ( or has forgotten about me). I forgot to buy an envelope. Envelope one, Jason Zero.
Groceries were much needed, so the family all packed up and headed to Wal Mart Supercenter (they are rolling prices back for ME). Stressful event, but we made it. I'm only $250 lighter.
Groceries .5, Jason .5
Now, the day has come to its end, and I haven't look at one piece of paperwork for finances. I think subconsciously I wanted it this way.
Accomplishing task zero, Jason's procrastination ONE.

The Feeling

2008-04-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

There is nothing better then one of the first warm days in MN. It feels like the moment you get to breathe after having a contest of who can hold their breath the longest under water.
My skin is already flush after being outside for a handful of minutes. My pores scream out in joy to not have the great shield of cotton blocking their sunny view.
These are the days that make you feel productive, as if you will now be able to accomplish all those things that were easily put off by the weather being less then accommodating. There is that small spark that occurs that wakens my cleaning gene. (Bathrooms and woodwork beware)
These are the moments when you feel like you can face all the things that have been to hard or depressing to deal with up to this point.
These are the seconds that men and women define themselves through inspiration...

or maybe I will just go hang in the backyard with the children and read something.

E.R. (EVENTUALLY you get a ROOM)

2008-03-30T21:32:00.000-05:00

At 9:51, Saturday night, I picked up my phone after an improv performance. I saw that I had missed ten phone calls and several text messages from home. I knew right away that something was wrong, and that I would possibly be rushing to the hospital.
Several different scenarios of how my three children could hurt themselves were racing through my head, and for each new one, my heart worked harder to remove itself from my ribcage. I immediately tried my wife's phone, and there was no answer. I then dialed Jeff, the oldest of the three. He answered and was in a bit of a panic. He quickly explained that Karen, my wife, had just left in an ambulance to the hospital due to pain in her stomach. He said they had just left for Southdale Hospital. Without saying much more, i hung up the phone, grabbed my jacket and advised some fellow players that i had to leave for the hospital.
On the way, I finally reached Karen on her cell. She explained that she was having severe abdominal pain, and that she couldn't even sit up. I told her I was on my way and would see her there. I then dropped it into fifth gear, and the four cylinder Kia i have on loan did everything in its power to act like a grown up car.
I pulled into the hospital, parked, and raced into the ER. I explained who I was there to see, and in a very stiff unfriendly way, the receptionist told me that she wasn't there yet. I couldn't believe i beat the Ambulance to the Hospital. I mean, they are suppose to be have a fast response time, and on top of that, I was driving a KIA! Anyway, I sat and started glancing through the aging magazines on the table. George Clooney in time magazine about being an actors actor, and how they dont make them like this anymore. What does that even mean?? Thank God i didn't have to find out, as my wife had arrived and i could go in.
Time, 10:08.
My wife was laying on a bed in the hallway behind the reception desk. This was the improvised area for the people who needed to be seen, but couldn't be seen. Karen was very flush, laying in the fetal position. She explained to me that she was feeling better and that she wasn't feeling as much pain as earlier. I was relieved to see that she had started to feel better. Relieved that she was safe and not somewhere under the knife. Relieved for now.
The nurse had taken her info, and now we were to wait for blood to be taken.
Time, 10:18.
I called Jeff to let him know that things were okay for now, and to make sure that things were good at home. He text that things were fine, as I am sure there was something good on late night television.
Time, 10:31
Blood work is finally taken. We asked the nurse to speculate on the possibilities. She said it could be an appendicitis, kidney stones, ovarian cyst, or something else bad. It was not comforting. At this point I was starving, so i went to the vending machine in the basement and got a water, some Pringles, and a Blimpie sandwich. I hurried back upstairs and proceeded to devour my late dinner. Surprisingly the sandwich was very tasty. I felt bad because Karen was not aloud to have any water or food until they had lab tests back.
Time, 10:58.
After making bad jokes about the situation we were in for about a half an hour, our entertainment arrived. Two police officers and a woman in handcuffs filled with the local happy hour selection.
I will just give you some highlights on the many great quotes she had. " MN, a one cow town, get me the hell out of here." " I know where i am, Dina. F***ing Dina, these cuffs are tight, I'M NOT A CRIMINAL." " I'm suppose to be in Calif., I'm writing a movie, and now this is going to be in it...I'M DIABETIC." Then there are quite a few racial slurs, fashion comments, and motherly advice that went on for about two hours. TWO HOURS!
Time, 12:32.
Sue(drunk woman extraordinaire) was moved to her own private room after verbally accosting anyone who walked by... which was everyone, as the entrance to the back of the ER was three feet away from her.
In all this time we had no progress on our own situation. When we asked if there was any time frame on the situation, we were told it was busy. Thanks.
Time, 1:54.
We are told they finally have a room in back for us. At this point Karen is feeling better and is plotting our escape. A nurse comes into our room, room 19, that is conveniently hidden down the hall next to the emergency exit. She take a little more info, and advises that the Dr. will see us soon. Exhaustion was kicking in at this point.
Time, 2:40.
I awake from my hunched position on a little doctor stool. I quickly tried to slurp up the drool that was pooling on my shirt. Karen begins to laugh. She had been watching this wondrous marvel the whole time. I turned on the TV and started flipping, and then I was caught by a world championship that was taking place on ESPN. Of course if it is three in the the morning, there is only one kind of championship on, ARM WRESTLING. Ron Bath beat John Brznek. I was disappointed.
Time, 3:59.
The whole time we have been here, Karen has been dying of thirst, but they would not let her drink. At this point i believe we are crossing something inhumane. I ask a nurse if there is any way she could have some liquid. He got the okay from a Dr. to give Karen a few ice chips. Score. At this point the television goes off, and we decide to try and get some sleep.
Time, 4:45.
Doctor comes in with no regard that the light was out. He apparently could drink, unlike Karen, and something caffeinated was probably the beverage of choice.
He informed us that the labs were fine. He then began pushing all over Karens abdomen. When he found a spot that hurt, he made sure he pressed it at least four more times. I think he enjoyed the power he had to make someone squirm under his hand.
He said that she would need a CAT scan. He came up with the same possibilities as the nurse speculated about 6 hours ago.
Time, 5:10
Nurse comes in with liquid Karen would have to drink for the scan. At this point she informs that it will be another hour at least. Being a trooper, Karen excuses me from the hospital to try and go home for some sleep. Not to mention the kids are usually up within an hour. I gave Karen my love and told her to call me as soon as they give some news, or if she just needs anything.
Time, 5:28
I race home in the KIA with a powerful sleep deprived headache.
I walk in the house just as Logan is waking. Jeff is making a bottle. I give it to Logan, praying he will go back to sleep. I quickly dump my show clothes and jump in bed. I then listened to Logan talk to himself for the next 40 minutes. Dreams begin...
Time, 6:33.
...and end. Jessie starts screaming out for Mommy. I quickly get some milk for her and convince her to lay back down. She agrees, deal complete. I race back to bed.
Time, 7:28
Jessie is up, deal done. I get up and start this day. Logan quickly follows.
Time, 7:48
Karen text me that they are done, and they found nothing. They have wisher her well and left her in the waiting room to be picked up.
Time, 8:15
I head back over to the hospital and pick up my exhausted, but beautiful wife. She is in a pretty good mood, despite the lack of sleep, the lack of something concrete as to what was wrong, and the lack of anything nutritional including water.
At this point, I wonder about the future of health care.
ER. Emergency Room. Yeah... Right.

Something New

2008-03-27T18:20:00.000-05:00

This would be the first. My tired body wont let me develop a complete thought, so this will probably be random.
Tired? Because I have three children. A teenager, a toddler, and an infant.
Sleep is minimal, due to not having an early bedtime.
I believe there is a silent competition between my wife and myself as to who is the most worked. She would probably win hands down, as she is always being "domestic".
My day job is mindless, so that is another factor of exhaustion. I am slowly trying to shed my skin of any mortgage related profession , but at this point it pays the bills
Outside of the day job, I improvise, direct and coach improvisation, freelance graphic design, create art, and try to squeeze in some kind of light construction/handyman work.
There is probably a lot more that could be said to give some kind of insight as to who I am, but this will have to do.
A toddler needs my attention.